Great advice from AndThisTooMP
I way I build up resilience is by each time I'm let down, hurt, angered by another I ltry to not take it out on me, by allowing me to feel sad for too long, or. Anger. I would have the feeling, let it come and then ask myself immediately why am I so sad (or whatever the emotion is) what do I need right now, and then ask why..each time I asked why the basic reason came down to I NEEDED LOVE. So I then would tell myself I love myself in that time, and tell myself really kind and support words, changing the self talk in my head from, yurvsomsad, silly, useless, or friends are crap, etc,,changing any negative words in my head to loving and supportive Ines. recognising that I can't expect anyone to treat me better than I treat myself, and that needed to learn to love myself,
I do this each and every times.
Today, I felt lonely, my phone don't ring fir days at a time, such a difference in my life since my daughter has been born,I felt lonely n a little annoyed at my friends, I asked why, because there selfish was the answer, why is that making me lonely?, because they should call me, but they may be busy why are yiu lonely and angry if they are bust,what do you need right now, A HUG, to feel loved and not ignored....
Once I get to the answer I my heart and not my head..of needing love
I then tell myself I love myself, and talk to myself like I am my own best Friend .
This has built my resilience and definitely not made the actions of others have control of my emotions. I have a reaction, which is normal, but with the process Above, I now in control of my emotions
If I had read this before trying it, it would annoy me as something so simplistic and stupid that I would do I'm.. but it's the best thing I've done. Loving myself, I've been doing it now for nearly a year and it' was something quite hard in beginining, to tell myself I love myself n be nice to me. That's when I realised if it weren't natural and was so hard, I realised how much I needed to do it..so I continued , loving ourselves needs to be natural, we all need to care for ourselves like we would care for others or want others to care for us.
I hope this,made sense and hope it may help at some point when your ready to try it. don't put off loving yourself and being a best friend to yourself for one more day.