**** Trigger warning, do not read on if you have a history of self-harm *****
In April last year, I met this beautiful gorgeous young woman, we shared common interests and that's what made us like each other. Although we no longer dye our hair bright colours, go skateboarding, headbang in a mosh pit in concerts or night clubs, we still shared our love of punk or punk rock music and I only found out this morning at early hours that she took her life.
We started dating and everything seemed phone but she just disappeared and stop answering my phone calls, she's into artwork so I assumed maybe she was busy painting or sketching something for one of her university projects but then I got a message from someone who knows her and apparently she ended her life a while ago and I had no idea about it.
Apparently she looked upto some musician whole was wreckless and killed himself (I believe it was Jason Thirsk from the skate punk band Pennywise), he had an issue with alcoholism, drugs, he self-harmed, he was wreckless like he'd smash up hotels like the British mod band the Who would and he'd also break his instruments and would have mood swings and start bare knuckle fights (fist fighting without protection) etc. so I'm worried she may have gone down that same path as him.
I really loved her though, we were taking it steady though, not rushing into things like moving in together or getting married etc. we were just spending nights at each other's flats then went on casual dates together and we only slept together once but we were ready and it was beautiful and meaningful, I was smitten by her and now I just can't believe she's gone.
We already knew a lot about each other but I wanted to know more about her and then hopefully end up moving the relationship forward and taking the next step but clearly she was more depressed than I was.