I love my family and have great friends but I don’t feel they understand what I go through and just how hard it is to lift the” fog”.
I have suffered two traumatic events in my life both where I was seriously injured . I am a strong person resilient in the face of what has happened but I am afraid that the “brave face “ I put on to let others see I was coping and recovering has meant that they don’t realise when I am not coping. I thought I was good at communicating with everyone about my mental health , I talk openely and honestly about how I feel when I am not in one of my depressive episodes and I can communicate yet when I am in the “fog “as I call it I feel very alone. My dad in particular seems to be dismissive and no one seems to realise that even just a phone call or a text when they haven’t heard from me would mean a lot. My sister in law calls it “hibernation” she knows I have a tendency to isolate myself and shut down yet again we only seem to discuss it after the fact or weeks later.
I don’t think that everyone’s is aware they aren’t very supportive , I guess my depression amplifies my negative thoughts and feelings possibly to the point where I do feel isolated when I can reach out, but on days like today where I am struggling to even lift the phone a random call or text would be good. I’m really not as strong as they all think !