Wed May 16, 2018 8:55 pm
I’m new here. New to forums in general. I’m getting a bit desperate and I’m not sure what’s happening to me. So, bit of background- I had a traumatic childhood, abused alcohol ages 14 through 18 and then heavily abused drugs ages 17 through 20. I mean heavy as well, talking being high 3-5 days a week, spending the remaining 2-4 days coming down just to get high again. Cocaine, mkat, date rape, MDMA, ecstasy, anything I could get hold of. I have been depressed clearly as long as I can remember. I got clean, pregnant and had a child at 21. I was a few weeks later diagnosed with PND and a year and a bit on I’m now taking 200mg of Sertrailne a day.
I feel like the
sertraline is just making the issue. My anxiety is sky high, my mood swings are crazy. I can be happy as Larry, hyperactive and then literally 2 minutes later I’ll be crying. I never know why I’m crying. I’ve sat and cried tonight because I’m that anxious and worried, I don’t even know what I’m worried about? I feel like something awful is going to happen.
A few weeks ago I was in bed, unable to move, sobbing, heartbroken, literally could not function, then I rolled over in bed and felt numb. So I got up, made some food and bounced about my kitchen in the best mood ever. Someone tell me this is normal? I’ve been to see numerous GPs and they just keep upping my meds. My mood swings are terrible. Sometimes I feel nothing at all, others I’ll feel absolutely fine but I’ll have dread knotting my stomach up and making me feel uneasy. Like feeling happy but sad at the same time?
My ex and his family think I’m showing signs of something more severe than depression. I don’t know what to do or how to get help. My doctor has referred me for counselling but it could be months before I’m seen and I don’t think it will help much anyway. How do I get help? Or am I over reacting? I’m lost and I don’t know what to do.