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Jungle Gym -my garden

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christabel
Posts: 1956
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Jungle Gym -my garden

Postby christabel » Sun Aug 12, 2018 3:46 pm

Hi b

Have replied on other page.
X Chris

teamn
Posts: 389
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Jungle Gym -my garden

Postby teamn » Fri Aug 17, 2018 12:21 am

BIR

life is funny, I had to re read my message to recap on what was wrong, at the time it feels so maganamous abd real , now, two weeks later I barely remember.

It’s true what yiu write about the wars of handling

It was very difficult as I silent my entire life, never getting close or leaning or trustin or getting help from anyone, never wanting to cry, hating any vulnerability in my self , then during my breakdown I was advised all of the above was positive abd I should let people in and help, so I did. To then be made to feel like I’m a drain, or to feel that my words are unheard abd I still have to support myself.

So your comment of balance is excellent, just made me realise that I’m still learning how to receive from others, I’m fantastic at giving that’s never a problem, people ca n lean on me all day long, but definitely seems that I need more work on how to receive abd how to lean on others, as my annoyance stems from that quite often what they give is not very useful,


betterinrecovery wrote:Dear Teamn,
It has been a few days,
I hope things are reasonably well with you.

Funnily enough, it was the ending of a friendship that initially brought me to the SANE forum. I had depended on a dear friend for a while to support me and I in turn supported her - but unfortunately it became a bit stifling - never good.

So thinking a lot about heart ache and friendships.
Now thinking more about what I can bring and give to a friendship.
I am aware of when I am in deep emotional pain and I am aware that I can find ways to soothe away the pain without having to lean heavily on others. I am aware - but I am not there yet.

When I feel traumatised, I am finding that mindful activities like knitting are very helpful.
Eating cake means I feel better - but that's just a temporary fix and going down that course of action leads to feelings of guilt so not such a good idea,

so, that's me - I have to say mindfulness meditations - being aware of the pain and letting it was over...
knowing that it will pass is one of the helpful things that I have found.

Now I am learning to give in a friendship---but not all that I have, and to receive help without being a drain on a friend's resources.

Being compassionate and kind to ourselves comes into it somewhere too.

Wishing you well.
B


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