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Looking after your vulnerable child

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bpdsurvivor
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2018 2:38 pm

Looking after your vulnerable child

Postby bpdsurvivor » Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:33 pm

I found this when I was googling about looking after the inner child. The inner vulnerable child is from Schema Therapy, but this is applicable to anyone

\thttps://lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk/users/3881-maxine-harley/posts/2475-adopting-your-inner-child

haylz
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2018 11:47 am

Re: Looking after your vulnerable child

Postby haylz » Thu Apr 26, 2018 12:34 pm

Hi
Thanks for that, the link is interesting :)

Have a look at Dr Kristin Neff, she has done a lot of work on self-compassion and has given some good talks on youtube http://self-compassion.org/

I used to be horrible to myself all the time. It wasn't until I became aware of how I spoke to myself by listening to Neff and learnng about compassion that I started to change. Becoming mindful takes practice, but the more you do it the easier it gets.
In the past when I became frustrated or angry with myself I would hurt myself and even gave myself a black eye. Now I hug myself, because I have learned to forgive and accept myself. I don't have to be perfect. Emotional Freedom Technique (EMFT) can also help with this.

It's unfortunate that many mental health problems stem from childhood experiences. As kids we don't have the capacity to rationalize or understand why people, who should love us, are being horrible to us. So we absorb what they say or do and internalize it. Which basically means become it. Many traumatic hurtful memories get stored not just in the brain but also in the body. That harsh critic or nasty adult then becomes our inner critic who harshly judges us. What we are doing in effect is carrying the voice with us and the abuse still carries on into adulthood even when that person is no longer in our lives.
It's not easy, when you've been listening to that voice for so long, to switch it off, but it's also not impossible. Our minds can only think of one thing at a time so therefore whatever we are thinking about we are giving our energy to. The trick is to keep focusing on your positive aspects. Keep a list and constantly add to it of your good qualities and the nice things people say about you. Keep referring to that when the harsh critic comes along. Gradually change the negativity to positivity by saying I can instead of can't, I'm worthy instead of useless, I'm learning instead of failing.
And hug your self and feel compassion and love for yourself when things get tough.
Keep doing that all the time x


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