Thanks for the two links, they helped a bit.
Have spent the last week here in body only, my mind has shut down, worse day yet to come, 4 days and counting.
Still remember the day so clearly the phone call at work saying my dad had hours left, the drive to the hospital only remembering passing one car, even though there were many but it's the hearse that's always in my mind of that day. Seeing him in the bed a fraction of the man i know, that horrible yellow colour holding his hand as he took his last breath, then just going numb people talking around me but hearing nothing.
Even now on the rare occasions i go to funerals all i can hear in my head is my dads service, not the one i'm attending.
Mind shuts down now to try and stop the loss, the pain