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Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
kelly1990
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2019 1:12 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby kelly1990 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 1:19 pm

Just to add, it embarrasses me that my partner needs to know that about me, and I envy all the girls out there that are ok with it, I wish that was me, I wish I was ok! If I had a choice I would be

sophie94
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:14 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby sophie94 » Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:38 pm

I no how you feel kelly! We just want to be 'normal' and we just want to 'watch a film' and many other stuff. Do you not watch anything with nudity in now cos it upsets you? Or do you still watch it with your boyfriend but just end up upsetting yourself and then having arguments about it? Maybe we can contact each other, help each other out? I simply do not watch anything thats a risk because its scary, i am on edge constantly and feel sick all the time. Ito many its just watching a film, to me its like jumping out of an aeroplane with no parachute. I was even considering hypnosis but i have no idea what to do.

annabelle3
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:05 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby annabelle3 » Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:41 pm

I have just spent 2 hours crying because of this, then decided to google and got here. Thank you to all who commented here, at least I'm NOT alone although I could swear I was. My new boyfriend likes watching movies. I dread the thought. Today I imagined how he admires this naked actress in a sex scene. I wonder what he thinks, how impressed he is. I wish he understood it is a fake, a fantasy, tons of makeup, scalpel and photoshop work. But maybe he doesn't and he still thinks how unbelievably awesome this other woman is. I'm 35 y.o. and this has been an issue all my life, with all my partners. I'm so ashamed to speak about this - I'm deemed 'insecure' according to our society, I'm 'ill', I've got issues...! I've been going to therapy for general anxiety disorder and my psychotherapist is great but when I mentioned this specific subject she didn't understand me at all. She seems to think it's all normal for men to look at other naked women.. It kills me to not have support in her. I don't know how 'normal' women do this - sit by the man they're with and see him watch naked women having sex..in 'normal', everyday movies.. It hurts me so bad. I can't imagine speaking to my partner about this. I don't want him to have to pretend he's not looking. I just want him to not want to :( This isn't smth I'm just upset about, I just can't cope!!!

sophie94
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:14 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby sophie94 » Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:30 pm

Hi Anna, i feel your pain i no exactly how you feel, the problem with anxiety is that we all think we are mind readers and that we think we no what they think then we just tell ourselves negative thoughts which then just escalate into more thoughts and then eventually we just break down. I am 24 i have had this i was 16 when i went through an awful relationship. My daily life is ruined because of it i simply refuse to watch these programmes and films i google them if they are safe. Which is not healthy either. However i think you need to speak to your partner i think you will be very surprised by his response if he loves you he will wsnt to help and not want you to be sad. I would also try and speak to another therapist , i have looked at this and its something like gymnaphobia. Its not that its wrong to look at naked women but its what they think thinking they are better. Now if your bf new this film had this scence in and watched it on purpose like porn then yea i do not agree at all. Talk to him,, we are in this together. Trust me i get you xx

annabelle3
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:05 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby annabelle3 » Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:42 am

Thank you Sophie, it helps loads to know someone actually understands. I know the logical solution is to talk to your partner about how you feel but I'm SO embarrassed about it I can't bare the thought of having to say all this out loud. He's gonna think I'm mental and I will have to agree with him - even my psychotherapist says I have unrealistic expectations and need to accept that that's how men are wired and it's nothing bad :( I don't see a way out which drags me into deep depression.
For anyone who's talked to their partners about this - how do you explain this so that they know what you mean? how do you say it while feeling enormous shame? I did have a conversation about this (many times) with my first boyfriend and was getting answers like 'what, am I supposed to leave the room when a naked woman showes up on the screen?' or 'am I not to watch TV ever?', 'am I not supposed to leave the house?'. So hurtful and unfair, but I couldn't answer anything to this..

sophie94
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:14 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby sophie94 » Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:13 am

You need to literally just tell him how you feel, my bf knows everythimg he even nos about this forum he reads everything he has the link saved to his phone. And your not mental, your mind is reacting normally to stuff that scares you. Dont be ashamed everyone has issues there nothing wrong with it. We just need to help each other, why dont you try and show him this forum? He will want to help you. You have told your other bfs why cany you tell this one? And id maybe try a private counsellor, i have seen 4 therapist and i still am, if you wanna hear something daft i get scared watching the tele after 9pm with my bf when in public i literally look around for any threat and i always make sure its safe x


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