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Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1615
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Thu Feb 07, 2019 10:06 pm

Yes dad. :lol:

maisi
Posts: 519
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby maisi » Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:57 pm

:lol:

Sounds interesting- bit of a bonus, bit of a challenge. Enjoy the energy levels :D

So might that mean a new phase when it settles in? I don't know if I could handle additional factors myself, and know you won't mind me saying that, since everyone's different.

Mind you I fell into a vat of happy pills as a baby, so they never let me have some more, even with a big punch up coming (Asterix and Obelisk reference, showing my age)

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1615
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Feb 10, 2019 11:58 pm

Thanks Maisi

A next phase will come. I know SSRI's and most (but not all) of the benefits usually wear off after your brain gets used to the dose.

The weirdest thing right now is that because the increased meds seem to be blocking so much of the anxiety, I have headspace for stuff I haven't thought about in a long time. Simple stuff like noticing a pair of trousers are way too long and then having the motivation to immediately buy some hemming-web to sort it. It feels good. :)

I hope I will keep as many of the benefits as possible when I slide into the next phase. I'm really focusing on how I am feeling at the moment to, hopefully, make it easier to find my way back.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1615
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Feb 16, 2019 7:27 pm

Diary Entry

The new dosage has calmed down but so far I'm retaining a number of benefits :)
The anxiety is weaker and it seems far easier to adjust long standing behaviours.
Still hard as he'll but doable. :)

The thing that is pre-occupying my mind at the moment is loneliness.
This isn't anything new but I am more able to be honest about it.

It has always been me against the world, for as long as I can remember.
Never trust anyone, you will be betrayed.
Never let your guard down, you will be attacked.
Never show your true self, you will be pilloried, beaten and osracised (and rightly so).

I have worked really hard to challenge these beliefs in the last few years. I am more open and honest with others, more trusting. It has felt really good and I have made some lovely friends.

I want more than friendship. I want someone to pour my love into, someone who will love me back.
I've not dated for over 10 years. When I did, I needed alcohol to cope with the emotions but there was always the day when my feelings became too strong. My few relationships were short lived because fear would overcome my desire.

I can cope so much better with my emotions now. I think I could handle a close relationship. I think I could overcome my fears to create one. I want a relationship. I want to stop feeling so alone. It will take both hard work and luck to find and attract the right person. I have clearly shown interest and been turned down a couple of times recently. I am proud I am taking the risk but I won't have the confidence to seriously try until I've lost a lot of weight, which is underway. I do want to give it a go though. I want to share my love and joy. I want to share my life.

sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby sirhugo » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:26 pm

[quote="andthistoomustpass"]Diary Entry

It has always been me against the world, for as long as I can remember.
Never trust anyone, you will be betrayed.
Never let your guard down, you will be attacked.
Never show your true self, you will be pilloried, beaten and osracised (and rightly so).

that really hit home. its exactly where my mindset is, especially after the tesco incident. if you can get anywhere with this, please let me know

in terms of being lonely all I can advise there is don't try too hard. I was where you are at one point. do you know how I finally found my girlfriend?

I stopped looking :D

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1615
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:57 am

Hi Mate

That is good advice. The thing we me is that I am scared of being close to anyone and have long been in the habit of avoiding that. It is important for me that I do try at this point, in order to challenge those habitual fears and behaviours. Mainly my post was about admitting how strongly I feel to myself.

As for the me against the world stuff, learning to trust is a slow process but I am taking baby steps all the time. It started with mutual support groups where everyone is open in a safe space. Highly recommended.


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