Diary Entry, addendum
What I didn't mention in my last entry and which is also key is my catastrophisation, negative predictions for everything. These stem from my negative evaluations of myself and others and from the way my brain is set up to protect myself from the worst. These predictions form the heart of my lack of motivation. If you see all paths leading to disaster why bother walking at all?
Training my mind out of this appears to be important, compassion and respect for myself and others is part of that but so will be making a real effort to reprogramme my brain to see brighter possibilities. Experience will be key to that, trying stuff, taking risks but so will visualisation.