Dear diary (hehehe)
Good news! Consultant has confirmed to GP that I can have meds like anyone else. YAY! This has been a long fight over years, principally with former GP who appeared to have her own agenda as far as meds were concerned. Never had more than minimum dose for a few months at a time so this is a whole new avenue. Such a weight of my shoulders, has given me hope
Targets... not going so well but I forgive myself and will keep trying.
1. Attend a support group at least once per fortnight. Doing this
2. Continue to socialise at least once per week. Doing this
3. Spend at least 2 hours per week cleaning. Nope. Need to create new habit.
3. Walk home from work at least twice per week. Nope but am walking more. Need to create a new habit.
4. Cook at home at least three times per week. Nope. Need to create a new habit.
5. Meditate at least four times per week. Nope. Anxiety makes this really difficult. Again, need to create a new habit.
After thinking more about Daniel Kahneman's work on the power of the subconcious I am convinced that replacing bad habits with good is both doable and will become automatic over time. Even if I can't find motivation I want to try to just do.