Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Apr 15, 2018 12:21 pm

Diary Entry

Well, it's been a week and my better mood is continuing. :D
Recognising the negative narrative and not fusing with it has been central to that.
Some teenie-tiny steps on addressing habitual behaviours which have gone well, I am not pushing myself here, I am recognising what is realistically achievable, avoiding putting myself under pressure with shoulds and musts, and just nudging my behaviours in the right direction.

A habit I want to develop is putting aside some time to meditate each day, I think that this will help with the anxiety and help stop me from obsessing over one thing to the extent that I ignore everything else.

Feeling hopeful and pleased with myself. :D

deb1960
Posts: 1700
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby deb1960 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 10:41 am

Well done!

Deb x

deb1960
Posts: 1700
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby deb1960 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:41 pm

Hi andthistoo

I have been meditating regularly for a few weeks now. I spend between 15 and 20 minutes each evening. I miss the odd night but try to stick to it. Also I've been using the mindfulness book by mark Williams and Danny penman 'Finding peace in a frantic world. It's an 8 week course and considered very good. I think I am benefitting a little and if meditation is sporadic it can't really help. I sound like a know all but I don't mean to

Take care
Deb x

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Apr 21, 2018 9:44 am

Thanks Deb.

Diary Entry

Trying to keep the good mood going, trying to remember what I tell myself are lies but I am very tense at the moment.

Part of that is work, not the job itself but the fact that any interaction with others that involves conflict, evaluation, the potential of judgement, etc triggers my anxiety. I'm proud that I have maintained continuous employment for so many years and I benefit from that in so many ways but every day is still so hard. It is hard to turn up, hard to interact with others, hard to believe in my own abilities. The pressure and stress of any kind of job is horrendous and it takes all my energy to keep going.

The rest of it is personal. Like with work, my internal monologue is constant about how I am crap, everything is crap and always will be crap. It tells me that I am less that others, unworthy and anything I do will result in disaster. I look for confirmation of these flawed premises in every little thing. Challenging this inner voice is a full time job in itself. So very tiring but I will keep going because I want more than isolation, I want to develop myself and experience life and that necessitates stepping out of my comfort zone. Paradoxically feeling bad is good, it means I am experiencing and developing.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Apr 23, 2018 9:58 pm

Diary Entry

Still in a relatively good mood but this anxiety, sheesh! I've given up on the idea that exposure alone will do the trick for me. After years of exposure efforts even simple interactions with others are still putting me on the edge of a panic attack. The therapy I've had has been tremendous but I am really struggling with Radio Bollox (my negative narrative), so ingrained I suspect it may always be a part of me.

I want and need SSRIs at an effective dosage. Doc says might kill me. He also says that not losing weight will kill me. I have no motivation to lose weight (or to consider death a negative) without something to combat the depression. The compulsive element of overeating seems to be gone following therapy but it remains a deeply ingrained habit and the one thing that gives me any momentary pleasure. Not like I can go cold turkey (except on Boxing Day :D ).

I'll roll the dice with SSRIs but I'll give it a few weeks before trying to acquire. In the meantime I'll try to refocus on ACT techniques, negative narratives are exactly the sort of thing they are supposed to help. That will mean committing to meditation each day. I know I can but do I care enough about myself to find the motivation? I will try and see what happens.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:04 pm

RIGHT!

Enough is enough, I am letting myself drift. I know what I need to do to improve my health but I am not doing it. Time to record my targets and efforts here, maybe that will give me some extra oomph!

1. Attend a support group at least once per fortnight.
2. Continue to socialise at least once per week.
3. Spend at least 2 hours per week cleaning.
3. Walk home from work at least twice per week.
4. Cook at home at least three times per week.
5. Meditate at least four times per week.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:30 pm

Quick note to self.

It's important to come to terms with the fear of humiliation. That seems to be one of the main things my inner narrative is warning me against.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed May 09, 2018 11:07 am

Diary entry

Well, not doing so well on my targets so far but I will keep trying.

I feel really wired today. I sort of know why but not quite ready to write it down. In general feeling better than last week which was a mare. The sunshine helps. Now just need to focus, get some work done.

c.j.
Posts: 81
Joined: Fri May 04, 2018 2:43 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby c.j. » Thu May 10, 2018 11:53 am

I've been trying to lose weight for a long time. I'm just doing stretches and light stomach crunches in bed before I dose off or wake up. I find this really helps.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Thu May 10, 2018 11:51 pm

Thanks


Return to “Mutual Support Group”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests