Hi I'm a new on here so I'd like to say I hope you are all doing well today.
Here is some background on me.
I'm 55 female married with 4 step children only one living at home and my husband is currently overseas working, thank god one of us is!!!
I have suffered from depression since my late teens but its always been manageable, but those of us of a certain age know life throws curve balls at you and the older you get the more major they can be.
I'd like to say that its all in my head which to be fair I think it is to a degree, I say that because I'm disappointed in what I have not been able to do so far in my life.
My last full time job ended 15 months ago, I found the job stressful because of my line manager, I started working at the company 3 months after I lost my Dad who I adored and had a close relationship with. Shortly after the loss of my dad a friend said to me every time I see you you're on edge, running around chasing your tail.
The job got worst my manager moaned at everything I was doing and not doing we had meeting after meeting it got to the stage that I would avoid his phone calls and team meetings. We had meeting with HR where I accused him of being a bully and HR said nothing.
I visited my doctor who said yes your depression has escalated and now you have anxiety and she signed me off work first for one month then another. While I was signed off I got a new job with a local council which was a really good job but !! once they found out that I had a total of 3 months off work they withdrew their offer and I was left leaving a crap job without having another.
Here is where I am at I have god knows how many interviews but no offers I have worked as a temp for 1 month back in November and 2 weeks ago started at a college however on Friday last week the lady I was working for wanted a CHAT which to be honest was petty and bearing in mind I was a temp very unnecessary so my point is that although I have known this for a while now
I AM SCARED TO GO BACK TO WORK, the thought of any more interviews make me very anxious and the thought of being in an environment where people who don't know you can make you feel like you don't measure up makes me very anxious.
I have not claimed any benefits and was wondering if I might be able to claim PIP my sister kees telling me to but I don't know much about benefits.
Please if anybody has experienced this kind of anxiety and has any ideas of what and hw I can help myself I'm open to your kind advise.
Today has been a good day after having no hot water or heating for 7 days finally I have had a hot shower and I'm lovely and clean