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This emailing lark

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
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ooby
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This emailing lark

Postby ooby » Mon Apr 07, 2014 12:37 am

Due to chronic social interaction difficulties i have no friends in 3D. Occasionally or i should say rarely i get to exchanging emails with someone. All's fine for a while but inevitably the emails drop off. Are they bored/fed up with me or is it do with them not me? I'm the kind of person who is better at responding than initiating whether it be a conversation or email. My first thought when emails dry up-' that's it,they've decided i'm not worth bothering with'. If i take the lead and send off an email what if i get blanked?
Off line or online it's still a problem -this whole interaction thing. It's just that it's comparatively better online. On a forum i might be respected but as for connecting well on a social level -for the most part forget it! I never get to be part of any inner circle. The truth is i don't have the skills that come naturally to many others.

secretxdays
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Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2014 2:09 am

Re: This emailing lark

Postby secretxdays » Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:59 am

Ive had similar when using things like facebook and online dating. Your messaging someone back and forth...seems to be going good then it all just stops and you cant work out why. It can be hurtful, but often I think its unintentional by people. The internet is a strange place.

GrannyV
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Re: This emailing lark

Postby GrannyV » Mon Apr 07, 2014 7:28 am

Hi Ooby

I hope you feel more comfortable interacting on here. It doesn't have to be a case of helping others only. Help yourself a bit and use it as a form of practise for more interactivity. At the end of the day there are no hard and fast rules and its about helping ourselves as well as helping others.

I love chatting and will always have something so say for myself :lol: so you can always chat to me.

Hope you have a good day.

Much Love
Granny V x x x x x

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ooby
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Re: This emailing lark

Postby ooby » Mon Apr 07, 2014 11:35 am

It probably doesn't help that (a) I'm not good at casual conversation/small talk and (b) I do very little with which to base a continuing correspondence around. After a while things, i guess, just dry up.

Troppus
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Re: This emailing lark

Postby Troppus » Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:04 pm

Hi ooby,
I hear time and time again that exposure is the key to building those skills. After all I guess every skill needs to be learned. I can do small talk all day if I had people to small talk with, but its different going on to the next level. I think it may be about accepting yourself and not being afraid of what people think. Just let yourself go and jump in when you get a chance to be socially interactive. Once us humans get comfortable being around people, I think we stop thinking about internal stuff. Some people are introverts, others extroverts. maybe think about what you like and then join a group with common interests, if your talking about something your interested in the conversations will be less likely to dry up.
Funny how this happened to me yesterday, I was talking to someone I hadn't met before, and I literally ran out of stuff to say. It was quite embarrassing and I also am never part of inner circles but sure what am I missing anyway.

shakerattle&roll
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Re: This emailing lark

Postby shakerattle&roll » Tue Apr 08, 2014 7:27 pm

Hi,there,ooby. Don't worry too much about people trailing off because this only happens when people can't think of anything to say. Going by what I have already seen I can appreciate that you are a highly intelligent person and I am so impressed with the correction facts concerning the Spanish flu. It all makes sense,now,so you've already given me a true account of what it was all about. What a terrible way to kick the bucket!! Have you ever been to college or university,ooby? It's a crying shame that poorliness has to get in the way of progress but I could invisage you as a good teacher. Mind you even the teaching profession seems to be frought with all kinds of abuse and you daren't physically correct an impudent student elswise you could land up in front of a Magistrate.

Nothing seems to be right these days,ooby,and I am so disappointed and upset that my life has been ruined by the hands of others so,in the cool light of day, I am exactly like yourself so let's frown together,ooby,and who knows maybe it will turn into a smile. :)

See You Later Buddy.
Trevor. (Look after yourself my friend).

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ooby
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Re: This emailing lark

Postby ooby » Tue Apr 08, 2014 7:38 pm

Never got to university . First admission nearly 40 years ago was at the start of my A level term and i have never been in a educational class since.

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ooby
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Re: This emailing lark

Postby ooby » Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:56 pm

Not heard from you since 17th September last year. Last two i sent you were 21st Sept last year and 24th Jan this year. I have had a few of your emails go into junk folder but i always check that as i know sometimes legit emails go in there. Otherwise i have a filter set up to direct your emails into a specific folder


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