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Should I ask for help? - Trig

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
river
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Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:15 pm
Location: A London commuter town.
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Should I ask for help? - Trig

Postby river » Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:35 pm

Hi everyone

I really don't know what to do. For the last week I have felt more and more suicidal, I now can't stop thinking about it and making plans. I desperately want everything to stop but I don't want to hurt my family and husband.

I'm alone this weekend because my husband is away and I just don't know what to do for the best. I feel like, in a fantasy world, what I would like to do is press a button to make everyone forget I ever existed, then press another one to end everything. I desperately want to end things but I don't want to cause pain and guilt for my family. It really hurts. I don't know what to do; my husband and cpn know I feel bad but not this bad. There's a mental health advice line for my NHS trust but I'm too scared to phone in case they think I'm attention seeking or (much worse) take me too seriously and don't think I'll be safe alone at home.

Any advice would be really appreciated, I really hope that this post hasn't upset anyone too much, that's really not what I want to do.

craziememe
Posts: 5638
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
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Re: Should I ask for help? - Trig

Postby craziememe » Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:45 pm

please ring that number youve got and get some support whilst you are feeling so bad. noone will think your attention seeking. keep talking to us here, you arent alone by no means. i hope you feel better soon xx
Craziememe

river
Posts: 276
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:15 pm
Location: A London commuter town.
Contact:

Re: Should I ask for help? - Trig

Postby river » Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:17 pm

Thank you for answering so quickly.

It all keeps going round and round in my head... I keep thinking that if I'm not going to do anything then I don't need to phone for help, and if I am going to then I don't want to ask for help...

I just wish I could make a decision either way. This has all been going on for months and it's too much for me (and probably my husband too).

river
Posts: 276
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:15 pm
Location: A London commuter town.
Contact:

Re: Should I ask for help? - Trig

Postby river » Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:30 pm

Have been trying them and feel a bit calmer compared to this morning (was very panicked earlier). Will keep trying. Thank you.

river
Posts: 276
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:15 pm
Location: A London commuter town.
Contact:

Re: Should I ask for help? - Trig

Postby river » Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:34 pm

Thank you. It means so much to be able to write exactly how I'm feeling nad have people completely understand.

I'm just really wary of calling because I've been in hospital (psych) twice this year already and I'm worried they'll just look at my notes, put that together with the fact that I'm home alone (have no family close by either) and try and persuade me to come back in. Have called the crisis line in the past and had very variable experiences (some really not good) depending on who was on the other end. Am trying to call my husband so will see what he says...

river
Posts: 276
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:15 pm
Location: A London commuter town.
Contact:

Re: Should I ask for help? - Trig

Postby river » Sat Jun 11, 2011 8:26 pm

Thanks :)

My husband's in Leeds and I'm in London so not much hope of him returning!

But I feel safe enough to get through this eve. Am sleeping OK so will just have to see what tomorrow brings. So sick of feeling all over the place. *sigh*

Thank you again for all your responses, you don't know how much it means to me.


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