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Helping brother

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
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Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2021 9:02 am

Helping brother

Postby storm22 » Wed Apr 14, 2021 9:15 am

Sorry, newbie, straight in with a big post but I really need some help.

My brother has had depression for years and is on medication. He's had a really tough year and last year we were really struggling with getting him help - ended up with crisis team and police involved as well as counselling and he did take steps to end his life.

Towards the end of the year he went back to live with my Mum and he has been OK since, taking medication, stopping drinking and going out to work etc. In the last few weeks, though, we've seen him going downhill again. The drinking has started and Mum thinks he's stopped taking his medication. He's also very aggressive and verbally abusive to my Mum and a few days ago I got the brunt of it too.

My Mum is at the end of her tether - her mental health is suffering and I think the stress of all of this is slowly killing her. My Mum is scared of being in her own house because she doesn't know if he is going to come home drunk or aggressive and she doesn't know what to do because he does keep saying he will do something to himself and neither of us can live with the guilt of that if we abandon him.

We can't have a reasonable conversation with him. Everything is blamed on everyone else and he won't take responsibility for his behaviour or the hurt he has caused to us. We are trying to be forgiving but it's so hard because we can't forget but think he does forget what he's said/ done - I have the texts he's sent to me still but haven't responded.

My Mum has been trying to get through to the Mind Helpline for a few days to speak to someone but it's always busy and she's on hold for hours. I'm not sure whether the mental health or drinking issues need to be tackled first or what else we can do, if anything.

If it's true that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped then I am at a loss.

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