Postby sybil123 » Wed Jun 10, 2020 3:31 pm
Hello everyone, I’ve just set up an account as I too suffer with this absolutely debilitating fear!!! I dread watching tv, films, adverts and social media with my fiancé. I too have always been like this as soon as I’m a few weeks into a relationship. It’s exhausting and utterly depressing me, especially at the moment with all the insecurities of lock down. I’m so pleased to see I’m not the only one. I’m in my third serious relationship of my life and I’m fifty. I’m intelligent and often really savvy at helping people with their problems but when it comes to self application and control of that hideous adrenaline surge I get - I literally shake - when a good looking or sexy woman appears on tv etc when we’re watching. I instantly react and start questioning my fiancé and repeatedly need so much reassurance. It’s hideous. It often ends in a row and I’m now thinking I can never be in a relationship. BUT I have just had this brainwave....it’s funny because I was just reading something about a yoga thing (I do actually do yoga and love the way it helps me relax, but I’m not a serious yogi or hippy type at all) - however, it was interesting reading that you must open up the throat chakra which apparently helps. Worth a try and a google?! Anyway, a few minutes after I’d done that I suddenly had an idea. Like some of you said, the whole media thing is TOTALLY UNFAIR-there are millions more naked women, I mean completely naked or sex objectified women than men on tv etc So.....and this is my brainwave (well, at least I hope you think it is....) When it happens, quickly get out your phone and google images of totally naked hot men.....then hold that image up too!!!!!! I suddenly feel like this could really help because instead of falling down that pit of doom and being beaten up by the ‘I’m not good enough army’ that invaded our brains when this reaction happens, we can take control (a bit like Miriam Margolyes....you have to listen to her interview with Louis Theroux on his Grounded series on BBC radio...it had me laughing again for the first time in months) and make it more equal. It’s only because too many men are still directing all this stuff and not enough women have the power to tell the men to get their kits off...all off, not just the top half..... So let’s try it!!! Maybe we’ll learn to lose this terrible grip of insecurity once and for all!!!! I really hope this helps. I feel like a weight has lifted!!!!! Good luck everyone and let me know if this helps!