This has been very painful for me as well. It seems clear to me that there must be hundreds of thousands of us who feel this way. Women always talk about how they hate their bodies - judging by how women talk about themselves, plastic surgeries, and blogs like this. Of course we don't see anyone speaking up about it in public - this is mortifying and people shut us down fast - call *us crazy, and intensively shame us becAuse we feel ashamed <-- Which is a downright asinine response. I'm genuinely confused at how they get so defensive about something that doesn't hurt them a lick. If they can't even handle a conversation about someone else's situation... I really can't imAgine how they'd react if they had to live the life that we live. They. would. fall. apart. Just a testament to how effing strong we are for living through this anguish.
We have NO reason to be shamed about speaking up. We've been trained our entire lives that "this is normal.. we should just get over it... don't make a fuss." Well something that hurts this severely is worth making a fuss over. Of goddamned course this is not normal. The natural world does not look like HBO. As for everyone's boyfriends/husbands who can't be bothered to simply believe/care that their S.O. is going through excruciating pain ... truly they are the ones that would actually benefit from going to therapy. Because they can easily help the situation by simply learning to understand you. That is easy if they'd just stop being so ridiculously selfish about it. (But beware psychologists who believe the b.s. about how its fine for women to be made to feel like shit because guys want to do shitty things. That's plain and simply wrong. (Women (if straight) like naked men, too... but we aren't making men feel like shit about their bodies on an extremely regular basis. You can love sex without being a horrible person to others.))
Let me be clear - a lifetime of trauma; of having your self-worth denigrated on a daily basis by an unavoidable onslaught of excruciatingly painful jabs from tv, media, billboards, magazines, movies, facebook ads, shop windows, ad nauseum is most definitely not something that we should feel personally responsible for "just getting over." We're under siege, which is not a good healing environment. Furthermore, this most certainly is not something that we cAn simply "just get over." If only they knew that we are constantly and desperately working to overcome this pain, only to find another HBO show or magazines in the grocery store check out or victoria's secret bilboard pushes us back down. Every. Single. Day. So if these guys want things to change then they'd better get realistic and stop slamming you with more jabs. The trauma cannot and will not end until the attacks end.
So long as your S.O. fails to take responsibility in this, know that you are the one - single handedly - pulling the relationship together, amidst all of the agony that you have to face already. Don't forget how strong that makes you. They have no idea how insane this situation is for us.