I am frustrated that this is considered a phobia.
I can't describe how much this affects my life. I am such a passionate and loving person - Like I put my fiancee over everything. I have zero interest in watching television shows, movies, etc. They have become nothing but vulgar disgusting filth for the most part. Almost every single show or movie I have tried to watch has a tit, an ass, etc, etc. I feel so uncomfortable around it. It's even worse when I am with my fiancee.
At the beginning of my relationship everything was perfect. I completely trusted him and everything was fine. Then slowly, I started noticing him checking out women when we go out, or I started noticing all of the disgusting shows he watched. I tried not to let it bother me, but I was lying to myself. I had to say something. I told him how it made me feel, and how it hurt my feelings that he was comfortable just laying beside me in a bed, watching some show with a girls boobs flapping around. I do not think it is respectful to me, or a relationship. If he was a single man, fine. You can do what you want, but I feel like when you decide to commit yourself to someone, there has to be some sort of line drawn. Since bringing that up years ago, we have mostly stopped watching any type of movie, and we never watch TV. I have zero interest.
It got worse because we have 2 kids now, one with special needs, and my confidence has slowly drifted away. I work from my home, and we rarely leave the house. I got to a point where I would cry because I felt so betrayed and hurt at times when we would go out and he will blatantly stare at someone, or do a complete 180 when a half dressed girl walked by.
Now he has started literally hating me. He belittles me almost on a daily basis, and I have to walk on egg shells with what I say. I do not trust him at all, and I constantly feel like he is waiting for me to walk away, so he can hurt me more.
He always brings up things, saying "This isn't normal" or "everyone else does this". He wants me to be fine with him watching other women parade around, and basically watch people have sex. Why is it normal for people to watch other people have sex?
He knows how it all makes me feel. He knows it hurts me, and he doesn't care. It's not like our personal life is lacking either.. I am exhausted. He sometimes wants to have sex 2, 3 or sometimes even 4 times a day. I always do it, and I don't complain.
He knows that I care about him, and I love him. I want to make him happy, and I completely cater my life to what he wants, other then 1 thing, which is watching these stupid shows or movies. And he treats me like literal dirt for thinking this way. It has gotten to a point where I am literally starting to feel worthless, because I read online, and apparently the majority of people have no issue with this. I want to say that I wish I felt the same as them, but I don't. He compares me to these people all the time, and I hate it. I hate being a minority in this thinking, but I truly do not think it is right. It's what the world is becoming, and it's sad.