Postby Isap » Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:49 am
Hello Debs
Thanks so much for your reliable and regular support. I really need it.
The following goes back to our theme about people thinking they're supporting you but aren't really..
Just wanted to ask what you think about my brother in law. He's visited me three times from NZ, bought me stuff like mattress, electric kettle, underwear etc. In fact anything I've asked him to get me even though he tends towards stinginess. I'm extremely grateful for it.
There are still things which bother me about him though. When my lovely sister died of leukaemia, he was understandably in a terrible state. He couldn't stand being in NZ with so many memories. He got rich selling their old house so doesn't need to work anymore. I remember my mother losing it with him accusing him of being more concerned about how he'd cope after her death than than my sister herself, maybe a bit harsh.
The thing that really bothered me was his taking up with one of my sister's old school friends in the UK, a widow hetself, and I only just found out about it. My sister may even have suggested it and there's nothing wrong in it, but he never told anyone in my family, we had to guess. It may have been the summer after her death in 2015.
The other thing is that when he visits me here, he pays a taxi to wait for him outside so never stays very long using the taxi excuse to have to leave. He promised to get his partner's pharmacist son to help me but nothing was forthcoming. I wasn't allowed to have the pharmacist mail address, it had to go through two people to get to the unhelpful bastard.
On his recent visit he said in a matter of fact way that my mother had died, my sister had split from her husband, and my lawyer was not happy how my cross examination went when I was trying to remember minor details from a Facebook chat 4 years previously. I told him I wish he could have said these things more tactfully but said he has problems of his own. He told the other members of my family that my new medication was working when it was making me suicidally depressed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that he was just doing it out of a sense of duty and it upsets me just thinking about it.
I'm probably being too harsh on him but I haven't heard from him since he left a few weeks ago. He said he'd ask local pharmacist for advice about my medications but nothing forthcoming. I'd rather a mail once a month than an annual visit to be honest. He's always been a worrier himself but not clinically like us.
I had a Tramadol today so was able to write a long reply.
Hope you are ok, also Biao and anyone else who may be reading. Feel free to say what you think of my brother in law.
God bless
Isap xx