How are things progressing Isap

[deb1960]

Hi Isap

Sorry for my late reply.

Yes. Trying venlafaxine again does make sense if it worked before.

I was put on venlafaxine because paroxetine had worked for me and it seems people who have success with that often respond to venlafaxine. Whether it works the other way round I don't know.

I hope ODB is helping. I haven't looked for some time. Think I will again

Obviously compared to you I'm not bad at all. I do go up and down. I am trying tto see God as part of my getting by. I did anyway but maybe it's more that I realise that nothing else is certain both in illness and life. I'd don't mean that you should do that. Just getting through the day is a challenge for you. But psychiatrists still have so little knowledge and in your case competence.

Take care and God Bless
Debs xx

[Isap]

Hello Debs

I tried paroxetine too and then went on to venlafaxine. It worked great 7 years then pooped out.

Am having trouble getting permission to see a doctor. As I mentioned before my December 26 appointment was cancelled because hospital closed. That bastard psychiatrist would have known that so could have scheduled me for yesterday. This paperwork has to go through the courts starting from scratch again because of missed appointment. Hopefully the stuff my wife sends will arrive before my medications run out. You can't rely on anyone here. It really is a nasty country.

They released 3 Koreans today. They must have paid a huge bribe because they were blatantly guilty. I feel so envious but can't be helped.

God bless

Isap xx

[deb1960]

Isap, where do you get your strength from? Because there must be a great strength for you to endure it all. The blatant corruption and your inability to get the help you need would send so many to drugs or alcohol or lying down and never getting up again.

I am struggling after a number of pretty good weeks.

I looked at ODB yesterday. It was appropriate for me. But it is so very hard to accept that which is horrible and with no known end. When I'm struggling I believe I can't cope but later in a good spell I realise I did. As you know coping doesn't make it any easier. I think it's getting through each day without messing up anyone else's.

God bless
Debs xx

[deb1960]

Hi Isap

No need to reply. Just to let you know I'm thinking of you.

God bless
Debs xx

[deb1960]

Hi Isap

I'm thinking of you

God bless
Debs xx

[deb1960]

Hi Isap

I think that perhaps you have lost connection with the internet.

I hope to hear from you soon

God Bless
Debs xx

[deb1960]

Hi Isap

Just to say I'm thinking of you

God bless
Debs xx

[Isap]

Hello Debs

Thanks for your continued kind support. It's more consistent than any of my friends and relatives.

Sorry to hear you aren't great right now but just keep remembering that you always get better. You also have plenty of leeway on pregabalin.

I know now what you mean about people putting you to the back of their minds. My late sister's husband recently visited for the 3rd time. I am really grateful of course. But then he goes back to NZ and I don't hear from him for weeks. I never heard from his new partner's hot shot mental health pharmacist son. I could go on but won't.

Contrary to expectations I was able to see a psychiatrist 2 days ago, a very good lady doctor. Only problem is that she only gave me 10 tablets when I take one a day, so annoying. She wasn't listening. I find that a general trait of psychiatrist in general, they hear fairy stories from psychotic patients so train themselves to switch off. But I always get 2 prescriptions, one without a date, so have 20 plus what I still have here so will be ok. She said going back on venlafaxine is a good idea.

This one a day pill is the antipsychotic, the only medication out of 3 I take that works. The side effects are dizziness and leg cramps. It was so bad one day that I took Tramadol an opioid painkiller and also an SNRI. It can be fatal with the mix I'm on, serotonin syndrome, but I couldn't care. The effect was to really relax me for most of the day, bad constipation though, so I now take every 3 days like you with your zkpiclone, to avoid addiction. I can get free from the clinic here.

That JW continues to exasperate the hell out of me, I'm so lucky to have him but he always messes up. I won't go on but he went to the court to check if permission to see a doctor was ready. The answer was yes. When? He didn't ask. So I was left sweating it out. I gave him a bit of stick about the JW bible being deliberately falsified and insisting that Jesus was crucified on a stake not a cross. The cross was originally a pagan symbol. The JW is translated only by JW while other Bibles by mixed denomination to avoid bias.

I am a total wreck and lack strength, I just make sure I eat. Some days I'm not capable of doing anything.

God bless

Isao xx

[deb1960]

Hi Isap

The JWs are really hung up on this idea of a stake and not a crucifix. It'd be like people hundreds of years from now arguing about whether it was an electric chair or electric stool that was used to execute. Does it really matter? And this idea that he is called Jehovah. Ok. But why not other names too? Like God or Lord or whatever?

I'm glad you got a decent psychiatrist and ofcourse that you got seen earlier than expected.

I think the vast majority of people put others out of their mind when the visit/call/crisis is over. I don't think it occurs to them that the other person is waiting especially for their contact. Lack of empathy? I don't know.

I hope your venlafaxine starts to work soon

God bless
Debs xx

[Isap]

Hello Debs

Thanks so much for your reliable and regular support. I really need it.

The following goes back to our theme about people thinking they're supporting you but aren't really..

Just wanted to ask what you think about my brother in law. He's visited me three times from NZ, bought me stuff like mattress, electric kettle, underwear etc. In fact anything I've asked him to get me even though he tends towards stinginess. I'm extremely grateful for it.

There are still things which bother me about him though. When my lovely sister died of leukaemia, he was understandably in a terrible state. He couldn't stand being in NZ with so many memories. He got rich selling their old house so doesn't need to work anymore. I remember my mother losing it with him accusing him of being more concerned about how he'd cope after her death than than my sister herself, maybe a bit harsh.

The thing that really bothered me was his taking up with one of my sister's old school friends in the UK, a widow hetself, and I only just found out about it. My sister may even have suggested it and there's nothing wrong in it, but he never told anyone in my family, we had to guess. It may have been the summer after her death in 2015.

The other thing is that when he visits me here, he pays a taxi to wait for him outside so never stays very long using the taxi excuse to have to leave. He promised to get his partner's pharmacist son to help me but nothing was forthcoming. I wasn't allowed to have the pharmacist mail address, it had to go through two people to get to the unhelpful bastard.

On his recent visit he said in a matter of fact way that my mother had died, my sister had split from her husband, and my lawyer was not happy how my cross examination went when I was trying to remember minor details from a Facebook chat 4 years previously. I told him I wish he could have said these things more tactfully but said he has problems of his own. He told the other members of my family that my new medication was working when it was making me suicidally depressed.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that he was just doing it out of a sense of duty and it upsets me just thinking about it.

I'm probably being too harsh on him but I haven't heard from him since he left a few weeks ago. He said he'd ask local pharmacist for advice about my medications but nothing forthcoming. I'd rather a mail once a month than an annual visit to be honest. He's always been a worrier himself but not clinically like us.

I had a Tramadol today so was able to write a long reply.

Hope you are ok, also Biao and anyone else who may be reading. Feel free to say what you think of my brother in law.

God bless

Isap xx