Firstly hello,
Just registered after browsing for a while.
I am feeling pretty low at the moment and just after some advice from you guys and gals.
I am 49 but think I have had depression since a teen, ran away with intention of committing suicide twice before I was 16.
Since then most people think I am a depressive sort with the usual comments of cheer up, snap out of it etc.
On the whole I am fairly happy but I left my job 2 years ago as I couldn’t cope with the pressure and stress and was close to breakdown, since then I have done little work which makes me angry and further depressed. I always spend way too long thinking about where I could be if I had stayed in job etc etc.
Currently have the offer of a new job but it is 85mile commute and I don’t think it would really help me much.
It is making me extremely depressed and anxious thinking about it.
I can never make decisions on the big things in life, always over thinking everything.
My poor wife puts up with me but I feel bad for her that she has to put up with me when most husbands are out there working , getting on with life.
She is supportive but don’t think she is aware of how bad it is at times for me.
Yes I have regular thoughts of ending it all.
So I guess after that rant my question is doi need some help and what would that be?
The thought of discussing this with a gp depresses me more, not had a generally great experience with them
I still feel that at my age I should know better and should be able to get out of it myself.
Thanks for listening
B