I'm posting in here for opinions really, because I don't know what, if anything, is wrong with me.
I'm 18 and I've been struggling quite a lot these last two weeks. I'm constantly stressed about school and all of the things I have to get done before Christmas break. I also still need to send off my uni application, but it costs £25 and I'm broke. School helps fund me, but my family take the money that I get and they can't afford to pay it back. I'm also very stressed about my friends, because I know that they're stressed about school and home and even through I message them and let them know that they can talk to me, I still feel like I'm letting them down and that I'm not helping them enough. As well as this, my parent has an addiction and is physically and mentally unwell. I am so worried about him that I frequently feel anxious and upset, because I want to be there and help, but I just don't know what to do and I tell him that I love him, but love isn't enough. My biggest fear is losing him and I feel like it's getting closer to that. And it hurts even more, because I've had a traumatic childhood and my dad helped me and my siblings through, so we are very close.
Along with this, I have anxiety and it's been very bad in the past. I feel like my anxiety has been getting worse, as my stomach frequently feels tight and I just know what the symptoms feel like and I've been getting them more recently. I've also been crying nearly everyday that I've got back from school. I feel like I've been split into four parts. One part wants to cry, the other wants to shout, the third wants to sleep and the last just wants to sit and zone out of everything. I've thought about talking to the teacher that I trust, but I've spoken to him a few times before and I don't want to bug him or for him to think that I'm overreacting or depending on him too much. Especially because I'll be leaving school in around 6 months and I'm 18, so I feel like I should be more independent.
However, I struggle to work through things on my own and even though I know that my whole family love me and my friends love me, I find it hard to open up and explain how I feel and sometimes I feel lonely. And even though my friends are amazing, lovely people I sometimes feel like I put more energy into them than they do me and I don't want to burden them with my problems when they have their own.
Also, I haven't purposely thought about hurting myself and I'm very sure that I wouldn't, but I do sometimes nip or scratch myself when I'm feeling irritated. I'm worried that this might be a problem, or it might escalate into one.
I have also contemplated going to the doctors and getting on medication, but I don't know if the feelings will pass or if I'm maybe just overreacting. Plus, my family would have to drive me there and I don't want them to find out. At least not until I'm more sure myself.
I'm sorry for the long message, but I just want to know people's opinions. Or anything that anyone thinks what would help or what I should maybe do. Thank you.