Tell Me Something About You

[upwards-is-the-aim]

Do you think it is partly just boredom - or is it feeling wanted/desired

Or purely a mental distraction and some social interaction

Or ??

[kashton]

Just because I have no one to talk to. I feel that if I make real friends, they will dislike me when they get to know me. I literally see nobody all day once my children have gone to school

[upwards-is-the-aim]

So what do you do all day

And what would you like to do all day

And what do you think the other mums do all day

There is a school - so there must be a community around you - so there must be things going on that you can get involved with

Part time work

Offer to help in a local primary school

Etc etc

[deanar]

Hi I'm Deana I'm a noob.
I guess it's only right to reply to this post & introduce ourselves, though not that easy for me as I was hacked a few years ago & still get quite paranoid because of it, thinking someone will read what I wrote & try humiliate me with it.
It seems a lot of members are quite young I feel old here now as I'm late 40's Oh well age isn't important and mental health certainly doesn't discriminate or isn't choosy!
I have been reading a few posts about some people's struggles here and can empathize and relate to a lot. It's lonely, scary, unpredictable (and at times very annoyingly predictable). I suffer mainly with depression and anxiety. though without wanting to sound too negative, I do feel that mental health issues rarely roll alone, they usually bring a few relatives along for the ride so I find myself with quite a few issues these days, or rather, in some cases, only just identified them.
I now believe that I have aggravated depression and I was not aware that I had psychotic episodes until several months back when somebody on another mental health forum actually identified it for me when I was asking about my behaviour and thoughts ! They may be fairly mild episodes, but are still scary for me, especially as to me it is real. As for the aggravated depression.I am not usually an aggressive person but lately I have found myself struggling to tolerate people and being irritated by them & reacting to that.
This can be really draining and a vicious circle dealing with the guilt and shame afterwards when I feel like I have stepped out of my mind and body to imitate a dragon for a while!! Not good. I'll get through it, I haven't been looking after myself too good and that is when things go awry and get a bit crazy, self care is a must for mental health as I am constantly reminded and I am always glad to get back to looking after myself properly and feeling better for it...healthier. I'm quite down this morning, haven't slept at all ( I suffer with chronic insomnia too) and I didn't think I'd write much at all but thought I'd try & here I am, steam coming off the keys It's good to get it out though eh, it really is.
I just read a post by someone saying they don't feel like they have had a life & I can so relate to that! It really is half a life, if that. Though, in a weird way, I believe that makes us grateful for things that others are not so aware of, the small things in life that get overlooked and are really not so small. I read that someone said they feel invisible and I hear that too. One thing I do tell myself that I believe does help for the most part "This too shall pass"...and it does, it always does. I know, I know it's a cliche, but it does help me to bear it in mind. Anyway, I have banged on for far too long here! Somebody stop me! Thanks for reading guys and thanks for sharing yours, love & positive vibes to you today. I hope this day is a bright one for you & that black dog stays to heel xxx xxx

[deanar]

Hi, I’m really new here...

I’m university age .. but not in university due to me dropping out of school at 15z. I used to be a smart kid, but then due to circumstances ... lost the will to learn, I suffer from manic depression and have quite serious anxiety aswell as soxial anxiety.. I live alone so never have anyone to talk to. I have a lot of childhood trauma that I really need to speak to someone about to start dealing with, but my health stops me from doing things I want to do. I’m so lazy.. so tired and messy.. I can’t do basic things consistently like shower and take care of myself. I used to have a clear pathway in life, I wanted to be an interior designer but I’m working at a dead end job trying to pay bills and have no motivation to sort my life out!!


I have these bursts of energy every so often where I want to get help and sort my life out like today, but it isn’t consistent. I really want to fix my life and learn how to be smart again. I miss the old me. I want to be active and stop being afraid of leaving my house.

I really want to exercise I fear if I stay in bed all the time it’s going to make me really unhealthy.
Anyone have any ideas to combat the laziness?

Hi, sorry I'm new here too so not even sure if I am answering your post in the right way, if I'm not then I apologise and I'll have to learn how to do it. I read your post & your pain and feelings of hopelessness really do jump out, I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I completely agree with the other reply that being gentle with yourself is the way, anything else is counter productive, but what I do want to say is that some one once told me that there is actually no such thing as laziness, it is not a condition in itself, there is always, always something behind inactivity and it is 99% of the time..fear. Find what it is that you are scared of & try to deal with that, we are all scared of something, I spend my life in fear. Also have you got a local swimming baths where you can have a swim and a sauna? Swimming is as gentle an exercise as you want it to be & you can build it up at your own pace. The sauna is a great way to relax after a swim or inbetween lengths and has too many benefits to mention. Just a thought, good luck, also keep talking, if we are talking about it we are motivated to some degree, take care x

[nomaybeyes]

Hello

I am new here, just joined today. I have no one to talk to. I would just like to talk to someone without fear of judging. Everyone judges me all the time. I am sick and tired of it. I judge myself all the time. I dont know what to say. I have a very abusive marital partner and I want to get out of this relationship but am scared of the consequences - specially losing my kids because my partner always threatens me that I will be taken to court and my kids will be taken away from me forever. I dont want to lose my kids
I dont know what to do. I have no one to talk to. I just cry. Alone.

[familyiskey]

I like comics, superheroes , dnd & games in new too

[ryecroft13]

Taken me a while to get used to the idea of posting here. That's normal for everything, my anxiety disorder likes me to lurk rather than act. It's 6pm and I haven't got out of bed all day though, and this isn't the new normal for me. I am proud of myself for helping my son sort Christmas decorations at his pub, using the bus and going to group therapy in the last few days but it's left me exhausted and low from 'doing' and 'peopling'.

My childhood was abusive, my mother, I guess was mentally ill for years, but it went unrecognised and untreated and her children suffered. It made me determined to get out of her grasp and succeed and I did. Years ago I was a successful professional, I travelled, I met strangers constantly, I worked ridiculous hours, I became respected, even co-write a paper for the E.U. but I also spent years in an abusive marriage from which I had to run and hide in a shelter, and years fighting the courts, trying to get my children away from their abusive father (who refused to work so stayed home with the kids during the marriage) when the judge considered that by having a career I had forfeited them to my husband and by not prosecuting my ex, the abuse never occurred. The judge refused to call witnesses in the police domestic violence unit who offered to testify for me and were equally horrified by the prospect of my children being with their father. That judge was horrifically cruel to me with all that he said to me about 'abandoning my children for my career' and I didn't succeed in having them until they were all 12 and ran to me, and the law was that they could choose at 12. They all chose me but not until they were damaged by the emotional and physical abuse from their father and I was further damaged psychologically knowing I had failed to prevent it for years. It has been 15 years since I was able to work, and I feel such a failure and scrounger for it all.

I was told, in counseling for the domestic abuse that the judge involved has now been removed from family court because of this type of action, but it is too late for us and he is still excusing abusers who are in his court because 'they are upstanding young men really'. There is a petition to get him removed from such cases too, but I am triggered whenever I see his name connected to a court case in the news.

I am getting better. I have moved away from the town and country and it's systems that put me in this mess. I go to a support group with MIND, a charity that definitely saved my life when I was at my lowest with one to one help. I also did a sea swimming course with them, culminating with swimming with seals and sea swimming is a real boost and calming activity for me whenever I manage it (I live next to the sea but it can get very, very cold). I also sometimes attend a peer support group - Northern Spirit, and I have seen a psychiatrist that 'got me'. Funding meant I only had a few sessions with him but I am on the waiting list for further support from Talking Matters. Thanks to him I now use a camera to distance myself behind the lens so I can take walks outside (and it is beautiful in this town) and I am finally asking myself 'WHY?' when I am super anxious or self destructive and the answers are generally very painful, nevertheless, I am trying to work through them. I am also trying out the support which he told me is 'out there on the internet and might give me the opportunity to share and help others too, because you are not useless' which is why I am here on a very low day, trying it out, introducing myself.

[riley1982]

Hi i am new here and want to help with and ask for advice thanks.

[dorian28]

Hi, I'm new here.

A few things about me:
I have a ten year old son who is amazing, but also incredibly smart and empathetic, which means I often have to work extra hard to conceal my mental health problems from him. One of my biggest fears is that he'll only have negative memories from his childhood of me, so I have to work hard so he doesn't see what's really going on. Luckily I have a lot of help with him from my mum and sister.

I've been being treated for some diagnosis or other since I was seven. The current diagnoses are Bipolar Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder. I'm under the care of a psychiatrist, and am prescribed olanzapine and fluoxetine.

I don't have a lot of true friends (I find people difficult being autistic). I'm hoping talking to people on here will help me feel less isolated and alone. I know I need help. I've always struggled, but this is worse than I've felt for a long time. Weeks of having very negative and disturbing, yet often hard to resist, thoughts. It's wearing me down.

It's nice to meet you all.

Dorian