I dont know where to start with my lovely son

[angelique]

Hi, and thank you for letting me join Sane... I dont want to be too complex but I am really searching for help for my son. He is 34, he had an accident 10 years ago which left him quadriplegic, he has been getting on with life but 3 months ago it all fell apart when his wife to be asked him to leave.. I now have him full time and realise that he is many things.. he is very depressed, wont wash, leave the house or even leave his bedroom, he is addicted to alcohol, dangerously so, he doesn't eat and has constant nightmares too. I believe he has PTSD due to his accident... but its soooo complex I really dont know where to start...

[curiously-drew]

I'm so sorry Angelique, it must be incredibly difficult to watch your son not only suffer with his condition, but his relationship breakdown as well. He's having a tough time, and his pride may be affected as well if he's having to rely more on you.

Have you spoken to your GP? They may be able to recommend some treatment options for your sons PTSD, such as counselling or medication. His reliance on alcohol will continue to lower his mood, perhaps you could help him develop healthier coping mechanisms. I don't know the extent of his condition but is he able to use computer games, board games, puzzles? These activities stimulate the mind and encourage creativity and resourcefulness, helpful if he's lacking in motivation. Plus, they are suitable for the comfort of a bedroom.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help, you definitely would benefit from specialist advice. This must all be very hard on you too so please take care of yourself, I'm sure your son would benefit from seeing you have confidence and happiness so I hope you can stay strong for the benefit of each of you. I wish you well.

[Foggy1]

Hi Angelique. I can't begin to imagine the pain that you and your son are - it must be a nightmare. Others have suggested a way forward and i think it is sound advice. The symptoms your son is showing is typical to depression. If you can persuade him (like you) to reach out for help then that's a start.

I hope Things get better for you both.

Take care

Foggy

[zena]

My mother's heart is with you sweets. It's so very hard when it's your boy. Much love to you both.