I feel excited (a rare emotion for me!) and nervous (in a 'normal' way) about this housing option. Some of the women from last night's group shared positive stories of people they'd known who had stayed there. One for instance lived there for several years, met her partner there and she still goes back to visit staff and friends even though she's now moved out. I told my mother about it today and she is in favour of the idea!!
*collapses in shock then gets up and starts celebratory dancing*
I went to the group. I'm glad I did so because I could leave KNOWING that there was no issue around the whole WhatsApp/me being insecure situation. Everyone was so positive about my job and housing options.
However, a certain member of the group was clearly VERY tightly gripped by anorexia. She was very negative and evidently not in process of recovery. I (and I think others too) felt uncomfortable by this. I won't not go again next time (hey, this person might not even be there!) and with time will be able to confirm whether it is a suitable group for me or not. Positives though.... I overcame anxiety AND I was able to see how much further along in my recovery I actually am.
Please apply the CBT formula and this problem solving technique to your previous and to future group experiences!
1. Do not think you should not share because your problems are 'worse' than others. Somebody last night shared something incredibly painful and shocking from their past. However, the outcome was positive. I actually personally thanked her at the end of the group for sharing that. I was inspired by her courage and her strength, her honesty and self acceptance and her fighting spirit! I also felt so much compassion and empathy for her. We all have our stories. We do not know eachother's situations as they do and what is unbearable to one person might be part of the everyday for another. You are in control of what you share but you can't control how others will react to this. So don't hold back because of anxiety alone. What you say could just be what another person needs to hear. Besides, you might feel better getting it off your chest too!
2. Okay. Now the lady....
Did you ever consider that she might not have forgotten?
1. Maybe she was waiting for you to approach her and didn't want to pressure you.
2. Maybe she was feeling that YOU had forgotten!
3. Maybe she had similar anxieties of her own!
And if she DID forget...
1. Perhaps she saw you, remembered she forgot, and felt embarrassed/worried about telling you so (with anxiety) avoided! Again, HER own insecurities.
2. Maybe she did genuinely forget! But she WANTED to bring you the info and therefore has no reason to have just changed her mind! Perhaps if you questioned her or even just approached her or said 'hello', she most likely would have said something like 'ohhhhh! I'm so sorry! I forgot!' before you carried on as normal nattering about something else. No problems!
Let's say (I refuse to believe this scenario though) that she forgot on purpose.
1. This is a negative reflection on HER and has NOTHING to do with you. Her problem- not yours!
Okay. Ahem. Lecture over. Hehehe!
I worked with the poor for eight months in India. INCREDIBLE. Best time of my life. Returning home didn't help with the onset of my, ahem, total mega breakdown though. Still, I have peace with that part of my past now at last. Sadness and loss, yes. But no regrets and for that I can not look back and say, 'I wish I had done this....'. Sure, maybe I wish life had been different but I cannot argue with what happened externally. The external leads to my sadness and loss but I accept it. Internally, even though my actions then have led to my mental health problems now, I can look back and honestly say 'Everything I did then, I did for a reason'. There is thus an acceptance and peace with the internal. I hope that made sense.
Where did you visit in India? I would like to go back again one day- but only when I KNOW in my heart that the time is right. Hey, look at me getting all deep. Probably too much therapy. Hehehe!
Did you (not your anxiety) want to go on the date? THAT is the important question.
Ahhh.... Negative to positive.... Get on that waiting list, girlie! CBT for the win! Trust me.
Yes, positive affirmations all the way! Keep some in your purse. You can also listen to them as hypnosis whilst you sleep. I used to do that when I felt I needed it!!
I could give you LOADS about you from my perspective if you like!!
You are genuinely caring, thoughtful and empathetic with as positive and encouraging warmth which is evident. I enjoy chatting with you and feel that you are great company. You are sensitive to others feelings and I sense you have a great wittiness to your character.
Take care my lovely (virtual!) friend.
Keep me posted! Love Em xxx