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Trapped in depression

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
noone
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:48 pm

Trapped in depression

Postby noone » Sat Sep 15, 2018 8:10 pm

Hello, I'm new here and decided to tell someone what I really fell...
I'm suffering from severe depression and anxiety, I was off from work for couple months and taking citalopram.
Now I come back to work because when I was off it was even worse...
I didn't want to tell anyone what's probably true cause of my problems.. because the problem is my wife... We have meet almost 9 years ago and we are married for almost 7 years.. we have 2 kids (5 and 1,5).

Everything started to be bad couple years ago, and since then it's worse every year. I really have enough... But I feel that I'm trapped with all that situation tied with childcare, mortgage etc and after all I see just one solution to all that problems...

She know that I'm not happy, because I have told her many times about it but she simply don't care. In her opinion it's all my fault... Wheel of hatred spinning all the time, I'm completely sucked from any motivation, any positive energy when I'm in home... And only help that I get from her is shouting every day how lazy I am, why I don't clean house etc...


I want to end this horror.... I constantly thinking about leaving house and not coming back... Just drive as far as I can..

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Trapped in depression

Postby tofler » Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:56 am

I'm really sorry to hear how difficult things are for you at the moment. Maybe it would be better for you and your wife to separate and for you to continue seeing your children? I'm divorced as well and it's not easy but it might be better than how you're living right now.

noone
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:48 pm

Re: Trapped in depression

Postby noone » Sun Sep 16, 2018 5:03 am

If that would be so easy... Like I said I'm trapped in that mess because of mortgage, because if she will stay with kids she won't be able to work, if I will stay with kids I won't be able to work, if we will split kids we both won't be able to work.... Sadly we don't earning enough to be able to pay for own houses and childminder during working hours...

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Trapped in depression

Postby tofler » Sun Sep 16, 2018 8:04 am

Getting divorced isn't easy but it isn't impossible either. How about relationship counselling as an alternative if you're wanting to stay together? Life is very difficult with 2 young children, do you think things might improve as they get older?

noone
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:48 pm

Re: Trapped in depression

Postby noone » Sun Sep 16, 2018 10:00 am

I don't think that relationship counseling will change anything, I just to leave her but I cannot afford it....

deb1960
Posts: 1702
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Trapped in depression

Postby deb1960 » Sun Sep 16, 2018 10:18 am

Given how bad things are you really need to go. I don't know what help your council would give re housing. Perhaps this sounds dramatic, selfish, but it seems to me you're fighting for your life. Losing that fight will be the worst outcome.

Take care
Deb x

capitalt
Posts: 190
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2018 4:22 pm

Re: Trapped in depression

Postby capitalt » Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:26 pm

I feel for you, been there and left.
Please bear in mind how it will be on your own, the housework etc still needs to be done, seeing kids, etc, plus, as you've said, the costs are so much more.
At first the break may seem a relief, but things can easily escalate again.
Perhaps the most important thing is to seek help for your depression, maybe couple counselling so you can see how tough things are for both of you, explore options, sharing tasks, etc, work with it and see how it goes.
Good luck

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: Trapped in depression

Postby cookiemonster » Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:39 pm

Seek some support / therapy and maybe a gp review. Once feeling stronger leave. It sounds like it’s whats needed. It can’t be pleasant for anyone living in that kind of stress. Unless change is made your unlikely to feel better.


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