TRIG Self anger, self harm and suicidal thoughts

[c.j.]

Hi, do you have any family or friends support?

[capitalt]

Unfortunately not, just brother, 'friends' came via ways of coping so knit pretty much everything.
Been trying to do far to much alone for to long.
Not good td have trust issues either.
Been feeling like I'm drowning, again, feelings I've had before not realising what they were and meant.

[beigh]

i cannot describe how much i want to harm!! i have family and friends but they aren't enough...the only thing stopping me is my sisters wedding, its this Saturday and shes already had ago because ive broken my arm fighting the so called father of mine, i feel so ashamed and guilty for my actions and behaviors, urgh what do i do? i dont want to even want to look at my partner let alone look at them, i feel so lost because ive withdrawn because of my anxiety. cant put pressure on my family as they are so stressed. to make things even more worse, my partners auntie is on her death bed right now x
beighx