You are not the only one, don't feel left out! I have been on my own for 19 years, I do love living by myself and feel free but I know I could never find the trust to be with someone. It is only 3 years ago I decided to get a season ticket to watch my rugby team I have been supporting for decades, I have always enjoyed the sport. I don't feel judged as a single middle aged woman enjoying a sport with people of all ages and for the first time I am really enjoying myself when I am out, I go out for the odd meal on my own, I get some strange looks when I go to the more 'fancy' restaurants, order just one main meal with a bottle of water, browse my phone but I don't take notice of those voices in my head thinking oh look at her, is there something wrong with her that she is on her own. I just say to myself, it is 2018 we live in a society now that people are more accepting that women do things on their own these days, I have (very recently) been into a pub to watch rugby on my own with a glass of water because I don't drink, sometimes someone will start a conversation with me, I am always polite and can get on with people but I think they sense I have a huge wall up. My manic depression has held me back with my racing thoughts, I get panic attacks even when I am out but have learnt to find a place, sit down take my tablet and breathe without drawing attention to myself. Maybe this isn't what you wanted to hear or know, perhaps you are looking for a companion, I think we all would love a companion that is compassionate, understanding, someone who gives you the space to breathe, be there when you need them as well as trying to do things together but most of all someone you can trust. With mental health we give our all or give absolutely nothing and some might not be accepting of it and may become resentful towards you and you'll get hurt.