I’ve played the ‘why I’m better off without him’ game too. In my case he also drinks too much and we also live an hour apart, he’s very much ‘leave it to the last minute’ and I like to get things done, he hoards paperwork and can never find anything and I itched to sort and file everything away for him neatly ... there is plenty more.
You aren’t being harsh or impatient. In my experience these people change moods daily. I know my guy told me once, after 2 days of silence, that he just woke up feeling really down for no apparent reason and couldn’t shake it off. You just can’t predict them. I honestly felt we were all good 5 weeks ago, he asked me to stay, we had a wonderful evening drinking champagne in a rooftop bar with amazing views, he taught me how to mix music, we woke up late and had a nice breakfast in a restaurant nearby and parted with a kiss. I’ve gone from that to him saying he only loves me as a friend ... confused or what?? I am starting to think it’s just too much effort being with someone with depression, you tread eggshells all the time, can never predict their mood, spend hours worrying about them, do everything you can to make them happy and due to lack of empathy none of this registers with them.
I hope he can escape this black hole he’s in and get back in contact with you I really do.