Hi, I typically don't do social media and forums but I've been struggling a lot lately under the pressure of caring.
I have a husband and children on the autistic spectrum only my husband has borderline personality disorder (has has problems for 25+yrs severe for 9yrs and finally diagnosed a few days ago) and a son who i think has the same.
Christmas is always a stressful time for me as our older kids come home and they have their own challenges and i do everything in our home, and we have younger children who deserve to have a wonderful christmas. So this year after a trying and stressful year i buckled and blew it. I never have time off, even when I try to escape into a book or a hobby i cant. I have a never ending list of responsibilities and demands.
So I called everyone down to the living room in a bid to ask for the older kids to shoulder some of the household duties and to get them all to spend some time together but it went very badly wrong i was told i had impossible expectations, I created an opressive atmosphere, I was demanding and controlling.
As I said I do everything not because I choose to but because they don't do anything. I ask them to wash up and they refuse, I am constantly washing and cleaning as when I ask they refuse. If I demand they refuse and it cause arguments that I don't want around our youngest children. They go running to my in-laws if I say anything and my eldest is viewed as a golden child. I know all this sounds ridiculous to others but it's not just this it's the constant emotional trauma they cause me.
My husbands bpd has been a constant battle, my son who i think has the same is constantly combative, he self medicates and puts himself in situations he has to be retrieved from. The oldest is clever but anti-social to the point of appearing to feel superior to all us lesser mortals who don't have degrees, he to is combative if challenged. All i wanted was to spend some time together as a family as they spend time with friends when they are here, to create happy memories for our younger children the way we did when they where younger, I don't understand why that is to much to ask. Instead I'm a hotel and taxi service with house keeping. I didn't raise them this way.