It is a shame that the counselor doesn't listen to you. Is he a therapist from a particular kind of therapy, a psychologist, or just someone at the school for chatting to?
If you talk to him about the same things that you talk to him about then I think you are open enough about your feelings!
You are not the problem. You have very difficult emotions. I do too so I know what that is like. We have some kind of illness that make these horrible mood swings, but it is not something wrong with us. If someone can't walk because of a car accident, nobody blames that person. It should be the same with mental struggles as physical ones.
No one should make you feel like you are the problem. You have strong needs and your counselor and your mum and all the other people in your life should be helping to make sure that those needs are met, not criticising you.
Having lots of powerful emotions can also be a great thing.. so try not to get frustrated with yourself. What is causing a difficulty now, might be a good advantage later in life when you have had some support to get a handle on it.
"my CLINGINESS I hate being left alone my insecurity and self-image my strong STRONG UNHEALTHY Impulsive, self-destructive behavior. What gets to my mum is extreme emotional swings and Anger. Chronic feelings of emptiness."
These are symptoms, not who you are as a person, but something you are feeling. That is a part of you yes, but not everything you are. I have the same issues, mine are caused by borderline personality disorder, but that doesn't mean it is the same for you, but it does mean you probably need to see someone to get a diagnosis.
"I really feel this. Last week, I told my counselor how I want to go home but it becomes a problem when I am at home. I really want to go without pain. But other times I don't so it's like i'm fighting against myself"
What you just said here is the key to the whole thing, fighting against yourself. Because your emotions are strong they are also not nice to be feeling, so you push them away, but they only come back stronger. I do this too and it is horrible. You know what you need, but you don't know how to feel safe and content when you are where you want to be.
You really don't need to say sorry.. ever. But you might want to print this thread out somewhere, or cut and paste the contents into an email to someone professional like your counsellor, or a GP. Cutting and pasting into an email could be the best option because then you can delete your username etc and then this forum will always be a private place where you can come and talk to us without anyone else being able to see. It sounds like you need an outlet like that. But the things you have said in this thread would be really helpful as a starting point for a diagnosis and getting some real help so that you don't have to go through your life feeling like you are in this fight.
Just remember.. there is nothing wrong with you. You are an awesome person, very sensitive, with lots of passion and love. It is hard to get things right when you have such strong emotions all the time. Sometimes you make mistakes, but everyone does. There will also being good reasons why you came to feel so out of balance. For me I had a lot of emotional trauma when I was young.. but everyone is different. But the point is.. we didn't choose to struggle like this and we should not feel guilty for being who we are. We do deserve to get some help with how we feel so that we can start enjoying life again.
If your counselor doesn't normally listen, tell him/her again, and again.. and if you don't get through, then just go to a doctor, any GP wherever you are registered and tell them the things you told us. Maybe use what I write if it would help them to understand what you need.
Or.. if what I said isn't useful you are welcome to ignore my advice. But at least you know you aren't alone. Lots of people struggle in the same kind of ways that you do and it is possible to get better and enjoy life again