Hi guys, Issues relativly minor for this forum.

[Dave404]

SURGERY DISCUSSED IN THIS POST. DO NOT READ IF THAT BOTHERS YOU!

Like the title says, my mental stuff is not too bad compared to other posts I have read. I had many test when I was young, the conclusion was "he is clever, he just doesn't care"... ALways had social problems, have learnt to fake it now. The Missues thinks I am Autistic, I think I am just kind of a butt hole. COmbined with semi legal self medication I was pretty happy, for the first time I can remember.

That was just backgorund info. The reason I am here, is that a relative died, (upset, but I can cope..) and now I am encouraged to do tests to see if the same thing will kill me, and get MAJOR surgery to fix it. Hospitals, and idiots that would like to put me in one, are pretty much the only thing that scares me. (also robots, but that would be my own stupid fault for helping design them)

[Avalon]

Hello and welcome to the forum. Maybe you could ask your GP for something to help you with your anxiety at the hospital, they may prescribe diazepam as a one off dose for you.

[Dave404]

"Maybe you could ask your GP for something to help you with your anxiety at the hospital, they may prescribe diazepam as a one off dose for you."

Thanks for support, but a one off dose would not cure my fears.

I am not scared of a monster, or a spider, or a childhood memory, I am scared of a dude with a saw cutting open my rib cage.

[judithj]

However, if you have the tests, then you might find out that you don't need that surgery, so that would be a weight off your mind. If you find out that you might, then maybe you could have counselling to help you to come to terms with your fears, xxx

[Dave404]

Thanks.

The logical part of my mind will do research, look up statistics, and choose the path with the highest chance of survival.

The emotional part of my mind, will freak out, get excessivly intoxicated, and waste peoples time on forums.

I am somehow simultaneously supposed to "stop bottling things up" and "stop fucking moaning" I am pretty sure it is impossible to do both of those things. (Both requests from the same person)

[judithj]

I think it's for us to decide if you're "wasting our time", don't you? I don't think you are: you are afraid that you might need this treatment and that's not a logical thing, so trying to make it go away with logic won't work. You need someone to listen to your fears and help you overcome them. Please avoid alcohol, however, as this won't help you at all. Are there any websites for people with this condition where you could talk to people with the same fears as yourself? Sometimes, reassuring others can help your own fears, and you can still talk on here too, hugs xxx

[Dave404]

"I think it's for us to decide if you're "wasting our time", don't you?"

Very true.

"I don't think you are: you are afraid that you might need this treatment and that's not a logical thing, so trying to make it go away with logic won't work."

Actually, it might. I won't give details, because I know people with far worse problems are going to read this, but, Darwin.

"You need someone to listen to your fears and help you overcome them."

This is probably correct, but Daddy dearest said that I should "stick nut on" (headbutt) such people, and tell them to fuck off. I know that is stupid, but even the people who claim to be past such things have bad reactions when they hear something they don't understand. (Daddy is very disapointed that I am not a violent twat)

"Please avoid alcohol, however, as this won't help you at all."

I don't belive I ever mentioned alcohol? I do like to have a big drink, but only two days each week. I could easily be an alcoholic, but I have seen the long term results, so I will not.

The chemicals I like are things that help me sleep. Alcohol, great, but very unhealthy, Ketamine, awesome, but it is basically imposible to get clean stuff, generic pharms fill this space.

"Are there any websites for people with this condition where you could talk to people with the same fears as yourself? "

Those websites might exist. But those people will probably think that doctors will fix them. I dont want make them do a poo in there pants.

[Dave404]

Some sort of glitch allows me to speak. Sleep well.Sleep very well. Sleep for a long time.