confused trig

[loubat]

I wil read your post in the morning huni as its hard um ammconcentrate now thank you and I hope xnu feel a little better in yourself please try and be more kind to yourself you really do deserve it always here huni take care speak soon nite nite sweet dreams xxx

[NeverGiveUp22]

Night, Lou! Sweet dreams to you as well!
I've been good tonight so far
xxx

[loubat]

Hey Huni I'm so glad to hear you had a ok evening really hope today is better also I'm here if you need me x
I don't think I will ever be able to talk about the demons from the past or what happened I can open up so much but even the smallest amount of detail makes the memories all so real again even after all these years. It's also really hard to try to go back to being so young and helpless almost like your talkin about somebody else and at the moment just fills me with even more anger and hate for them if that's possible.I am receivin theropy also or my anger issues which I have needed and wanted for so long which is helping a little early stages I know but I don't want to loose my anger towards my abusers if that makes sense I don't want to just forgive and forget,yes I want try and move on with my life and not let the anger control me but I will never forgive them. So at the moment I haven't really talked about the past just the issues happening now or which have happened in last few years still really hard but I dread the time we have to try to tackle the memories of childhood.
Yes I understand wot you said about your body and mind feeling separated that is exactly how I feel rite now my body can feel so weak and tired but my head is running so fast and will not allow me to relax or rest. I will speak with my theropist to try to understand the harming and not knowing,I don't even know if I do it while awake or asleep as I have periods awake I don't remember especially if I'm angry about something. Im not sure if everybody harms to try to gain a little bit of control back but I do to an extent and while this is happening I don't feel like I have control which is what is getting to me so much.
Sorry I have rambled on huni lol but its so nice to speak to people who understand and have Iae similar experiences. Not sure I will be having theropy today as not much change with the kidneys so another day of boredom but nurse said they will try to get me some things to do in bed much love Lou xxx

[belle]

Hello Lou.
((xx))
It's hard to let go and forgive.
I can understand some of that.
I read somewhere that holding on to our anger only hurts one person - ourselves.
Knowing the theory and understanding and feeling it is quite another thing.
I hope they can give you something to occupy you if you are having a day in bed.
Maybe ask about NLP time line regression to help? They might not be able to provide it but it can be very powerful.
Keep safe.
xxx

[loubat]

Hey belle
How are you feeling today?
Yes I know I need to let go of the anger maybe they can help me to try to do that but at the moment my head wont forgive or forget and I have been honest and told them if I am let back into community I will try to hurt him again,so as much as I hate bein locked up I know its for the best at the moment.
Well yeah still stuck in bed they have given me my kindle so have got something to do and some wax crayons which I'm afraid there is only so much you can do with lol done some writings though so mood and spirits not too bad.
Something was mentioned about nlp but as you know my attention span not good and not really sure I understand wot it is tbh xxx

[belle]

Hi there.
Hummm... bunged up, sniffy, face feels like it has been run over by a bus, mega sore throat and feeling very sorry for myself in general.
Yes, letting go is what maybe needs to happen, but being able to get to that point is very hard.
Glad you have some thing to do. On your kindle thing do you have to download stuff to read and watch (I had now idea you could watch films - but that's my techie stupidity!) so are you able to do that where you are?
Please try to keep as positive as you can today.
Ha - I'm not really sure what NLP is either but I am trying few sessions to help with past trauma and it's totally different from anything I've done before. Maybe ask your therapist about it? I have done some timeline regression work and it has helped a bit. You need to use your imagination and you are such a creative person I really think you could do it.
Take care.
xxx

[loubat]

Aww sorry you are feeling so down and poorly belle hope you are takin lots of honey and lemon xx
Yes I think the letting go might take a while and some work but will try I will ask her about that in the next session belle thanks.
Lol yes the new kindle is almost like a tablet or mini laptop and my sw downloaded some films and books for me so have got some thing to do ,since I am not actually on any kind of charge here just here so i cannot run so to speak I am classed as priviledged so am allowed more things than some on the other wards as long as I cannot hurt self or others with it xxx

[belle]

Thanks Lou.
I need to go to the shops to get some lemon but there is one very close so I'd better get my act together on that I suppose.
Letting go is the very hardest thing for me, as well as showing kindness and compassion to myself - not something I have ever done before but I'm trying.
I have no idea what your taste is in films but I love The Most Exotic Marigold Hotel for a bit of easy watching.
Take care.
xxx

[loubat]

I think a lot of us on here find it hard to be kind to our selfs as much as I tel others to do it I find it hard myself but it is important .
I have never heard of that film belle my taste in films lol well I have got all the spidermans,batmans and xmen movies downloaded so yes I love super hero films and comics
Yes go and get some lemons for your throat before the shops shut I think there is a lot of colds goin about poor dova is suffering too bless her xwx

[belle]

Ah - not sure that would fit with your super heroes tastes then!!
Just cooking something (I use the term cooking loosely as I can't really cook!!) as I've forgotten to eat anything to day so far then will get the lemons.
Hope your afternoon is OK and your pain is under control.
xxx