Don't say sorry.
I think I can understand how you're feeling- I'm really struggling at the moment- I wish I didn't know anyone so I could just disapper. Unfortunately I don't think that a 'quiet exit' exists, because of the hurts it causes to other people... Not trying to make you feel guilty though, I know how much it hurts when you feel so desperate.
Is there anyone you can reach out to for help? Do you have any contact with a mental health team? Or GP?
Hope you're doing ok x