Hi rj turner,
just thought I would keep you up dated on how I got on yesterday at my meeting with the crisis team. They were really helpful and supportive to both my self and my husband, we were in the meeting for over an hour talking about how I am feeling right now and the trigger for this latest episode of depression. They seem to think that the bust up with my family at christmas started off my symptoms again. Between us we have put together a support system which they think will be helpful and they are arranging some cbt therepy for me and reviewing all my medication.
I spent most of the hour crying, but at least now they know how crap I am feeling right now.
I am still struggling and living hour by hour, but I dont feel so alone now. I still feel really scared of what I might end up doing to myself as the feeling of wanting to end it all is sometimes over whelming and really powerful. At the moment I can only see the black cloud that hangs over me all the time, and the future is impossible to think about. I am finding it hard to sleep at night as thats when my thoughts are at their worst. I am trying to keep myself safe by not being alone, and when I feel scared or out of control I put myself to bed and stay their as thats where I feel the safest. I know people must wonder what I have to be depressed about as I have a wonderful family who love and care for me and I am at the begining of a new career doing something that I love, but knowing this does not help if anything it makes me feel even more guilty. But thanks to you and the support of my family I am hoping that things will get better but I know that it will take time. RJ thank you your support it has meant so much to me I would like to send you hugs xx