Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

Is there any point? poss trig.

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Is there any point? poss trig.

Postby Dovahkiin » Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:54 pm

I've had another okay day but all my urges and suicidal thoughts are back. Again. Feeling really paranoid now. I swear people are talking about me behind my back. I don't understand how I can feel fine all day and now I just can't be f**ked with anything anymore. I'm trying to convince myself that cutting wont help but I still find myself looking for something I can do it with. They're telling me to do it too and they just get worse if I don't listen. I just don't know what to do. I'm seeing my new psychiatrist on the 16th but I don't think I'll be able tell him about this. I can't even bring myself to tell my mum. It just feels so hopeless now. I don't think theres any point anymore. Everything I do is a waste. I always end up back in the same place. I just want it all to stop now.

craziememe
Posts: 5638
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
Contact:

Re: Is there any point? poss trig.

Postby craziememe » Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:57 pm

please tell someone about how bad you feel, let them help you. i hope you feel better soon, dont give up xx
Craziememe

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: Is there any point? poss trig.

Postby Dovahkiin » Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:14 pm

I keep trying to pluck up the courage to tell my mum but I get overwhelmed with the feeling of humiliation. I shouldn't be so weak. I should be able to deal with this. But I can't. And the humiliation is crippling. I've been in hospital twice surely I should be able to deal with all this now? I just don't know if theres any point anymore. Thanks for replying though hun xx

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: Is there any point? poss trig.

Postby Dovahkiin » Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:16 am

Hey E, It can't even cross my mind to phone them because I have a terrible anxiety issue with using phones. My mum would be really supportive, possibly angry that I didn't tell her in the first place but she would be there for me. Sometimes it's worse when she is because she's really suspicious of everything I do and doesn't leave me alone even for just 5 minutes. xx

Hey PK the book ideas really good, I think I'll try to use it, maybe when I go for a walk with my mum and it's not a time where I have to look at her and I could walk ahead and stuff. I normally get into arguements with the voices, and music helpful to a point, but theres one voice that I can hear in my head as well as outside of my head. It's a bit complicated. Those feelings get so much worse if I feel rejected which is a lot lately and telling people about them makes me feel weak and I get embarrassed :\ xx

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: Is there any point? poss trig.

Postby Dovahkiin » Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:25 pm

Hey, thanks for your replies. Yeah I pretty much feel the same PK, I don't think I'm ever going to fit in anywhere. And thank you, I like talking to you too :).. Totherescue I'm fine with texting it's just getting the credit. My mum knows how bad things are now though because last night I pretty much hit rock bottom and I couldn't take feeling that way anymore so I OD'd and was in A&E til half 6 this morning. I had to wait for the psych team to come down and then they questioned me for well over an hour and they were unbelievably patronising. They spoke to me like I was a 3 year old. Then in the end just went "Are you gonna do it again?" "No" "Okay you can go".. I was just like wtf was the point in keeping me here? My mum was incredibly supportive, she's gonna be suspicious of everything I do again but that's understandable. xx

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: Is there any point? poss trig.

Postby Dovahkiin » Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:35 pm

Sorry I didn't mean to sound attention seeking, because I'm not, I just really needed to vent. xx


Return to “Safe Room”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 21 guests