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not feeling good pos trig......

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craziememe
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not feeling good pos trig......

Postby craziememe » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:39 pm

im feeling low tonight. have got stuck with an eye infection and all one side of my face is swollen and red, i look like ive been punched. i feel achey and irratable.
my mum went out this afternoon and left a box of cocodamol on the side by accident (she takes them for her bad leg) and i spent half the day staring at them and the rest of the day, even now, thinking about them. she was mortified when she came home and realised she'd left them out and i told her she needent have worried but i lied.
i want to take them all. end this life. im tired and fed up of living with bpd and pyhcotic depression and ptsd im tired of smiling and trying to be alright for everyone else when i feel like im dying inside.
im trying coping strageties and i know i only have to say all this out loud to my sw or support worker but i cant. im scared and frightened and i dont think i can cope with these suicide feelings again.

hope everyone else is ok.

love to all xxx
Craziememe

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judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby judithj » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:43 pm

hey, keep talking to us, love and please please talk to your support worker about how you feel. you've been here before and got through it, so hold onto that, hold onto us and hold onto your wonderful son. you're not alone, hugs, Judith xxx

BlackRose
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Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:27 am
Location: Merseyside

Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby BlackRose » Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:13 am

It's great that you didn't take the pills. Try to be strong and talk to us. Hugs BlackRose x
[b]"The way the rain comes down hard that's how I feel inside" (Lyric of a favourite song puts into words how I feel)
BlackRose XXX
[/b]

Kankapoo
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Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:00 pm

Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby Kankapoo » Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:40 am

Hey Hun glad you didn't take them and although you thought about it you still didn't which is great and shows you are getting stronger hope you start to feel better soon Hun here if you want to chat x
Is life worth living?

Robbie

Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby Robbie » Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:26 am

Well done Meme! Proud of you. Keep it up! x

craziememe
Posts: 5638
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
Contact:

Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby craziememe » Tue Jan 11, 2011 1:04 am

physically im better apart from a constant cough that is very irritating and wears me out- smoking 40 a day does not help though.
emotionally i am broken. consumed with inner pain and i just want it all to end.
i tried to strangle myself with a belt today. i just dont know what to do anymore. so so tired.
and i know there is nothing anyone can do to help me, noone can stop this pain. and thats what hurts the most- noone helped me then and noone can help me now.
xx
Craziememe

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judithj
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Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby judithj » Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:34 pm

we want to help, love, and you know we'll listen. please could you get the cough checked out - the cigs won't help (you need LK's pink fags), but you could have some irritation or swelling from the strangling attempt.
i know it feels as though no-one will help, but please keep trying. you matter a lot to us, hugs, Judith xxx

craziememe
Posts: 5638
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
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Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby craziememe » Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:08 pm

thanks j, i was feeling slightly better this morning- not as desperate but as the day has gone on ive felt worse and worse. i know i keep saying this but i just dont know what to do anymore and im tired. xx
Craziememe

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judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: not feeling good pos trig......

Postby judithj » Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:11 pm

take it little step by little step and keep talking to us. maybe it won't change much, but at least you won't be alone, hugs, Judith xxx


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