I have been very distressed and feeling very down most days recently. It has been going on for around a year now, but has really gotten worse in the last few months. It started when my closest and best friend at uni left, After that, I tended to stay in my room a lot and only really socialise with my other friends when he came to visit every now and then. I also started to feel left out of some activities that my other friends did, which made me feel really down and feel like I'm worthless. Towards the middle of my first semester at uni for my second year, I started to become less social again and just stay in my room a lot of the time. I also started to get irritated at the smallest of things, and have punched many things in my room in anger. Yet again, I feel like I'm worthless and left out of my social group, which is another reason why I stay in my room as I feel I'm drifting away from them.
I am also distressed due to my sexuality. I am bisexual, which I realised when i was about 15. I have come out to my close friends at home, but not my uni friends or my close family due to fear of what they will say. It causes me a lot of stress daily, and makes me angry a lot of the time. My dad also suffers from mental health issues, and has been in a psychiatric ward on numerous occasions. When i see him, it makes me feel sad and angry as to why this would have to happen to my dad.
Due to all this, I have had a lot of suicidal feelings that have escalated in recent months. I have come to points when I want to kill myself, but I can't do it. It makes me worried that I am having these thoughts, and don't really know what to do. I am just really stressed and need some help.