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Why is there such a big deal about staying alive?

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verytired
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:05 pm

Why is there such a big deal about staying alive?

Postby verytired » Thu Nov 26, 2020 10:45 am

I hate that there is such a stigma about not wanting to remain alive. Being told to think about those you leave behind is appalling. I live alone, I have family but don’t wish to be part of their lives and more importantly, I don’t want them to feel that they have to be looking out for me. I don’t want anyone to be affected by what I choose to do with my life. If I were to take up a lifestyle that those who know me disapproved of, I would be able to say it’s none of their business and society would probably pat me on the back and agree. However, because I want to die, that is regarded as selfish. Life is shit and I don’t understand why we can’t opt out without judgement.

genx
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 10:35 pm

Re: Why is there such a big deal about staying alive?

Postby genx » Sat Nov 28, 2020 10:51 am

I do understand this. We can opt out of almost anything in life if we don't like it. Why not the whole package?

But there are important and unique aspects. Not only the effects on those we would leave behind (I won't try to convince you of anything on that score!), but also the fact that it's permanent, there's no going back, and there's always hope that things will get better if you stay around.

I know those are both cliches, but sometimes cliches become so because they're useful and true.

Would it help to share more of what's up for you? No worries if not, just extending the offer of a listening (virtual) ear.

verytired
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:05 pm

Re: Why is there such a big deal about staying alive?

Postby verytired » Sun Nov 29, 2020 9:45 pm

I have no hope that things will get better. I just wish I had the courage to top myself. I’m so afraid if getting it wrong and having to face tha shame.

c.j.
Posts: 139
Joined: Fri May 04, 2018 2:43 pm

Re: Why is there such a big deal about staying alive?

Postby c.j. » Thu Dec 10, 2020 1:34 pm

I know a few people who are suffering loved ones who have committed suicide and it is devastating for them.

What's your situation exactly if you don't mind? Someone may be able to help.

rsxo
Posts: 1395
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Why is there such a big deal about staying alive?

Postby rsxo » Sat Dec 12, 2020 11:21 am

I think a key reason is that a lot of people who reach the point of taking their own life but don't follow through go on to recover and live a happier life. All of those people are so thankful that they never went through with it. Choosing life in that situation means you give yourself that chance to live a happier life - it won't be perfect, and not everyone does get there - but many do. Staying alive is not a permanent decision, and so you could give it some time before making a decision. But following through is permanent, and there's no going back.

Also, as much as we might want people to not be affected by what we do, the truth is that we can't control that. We live in an society of interconnected interactions and relations, so everything we do affects someone else in one way or another. You might not want your family to care about you, but they may do. The funny thing about family is that sometimes you can do your utmost to cut them off, but they'll never stop caring about you - unconditional love is a powerful and resilient thing.
RSxo <3

verytired
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:05 pm

Re: Why is there such a big deal about staying alive?

Postby verytired » Wed Dec 16, 2020 3:21 pm

c.j. wrote:I know a few people who are suffering loved ones who have committed suicide and it is devastating for them.

What's your situation exactly if you don't mind? Someone may be able to help.

I’ve got back in touch with mental health services. Waiting for them to get back to me for another assessment. Very mixed feelings, Sometimes I think that I am doing the right thing but I don’t really believe they can help, they haven’t before. I feel worse now than I did before I contacted them.


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