For the second time in my life I find myself experiencing serious suicidal thoughts. I managed to get myself out of it last time, managed to scramble back up the hill and even find a little happiness but it has all gone. I'm surrounded by darkness and even the voices of wellwishers, friends and families are no more than muffled noises against a backdrop of barking black dogs. I'm getting angry which is completely out of character. I'm losing chunks of memory, phasing out during the day, bursting into tears for no apparent reason.
And I see no light through the darkness.