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ChristmasGrinch --TRIGGER--

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myheadspacerace
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2018 7:37 pm

ChristmasGrinch --TRIGGER--

Postby myheadspacerace » Sun Jan 05, 2020 10:17 pm

So, I am a schizophrenic and suffer from depression. So, this Christmas I was going to spend some time with my Dad and my brother and his gf. Looking forward to arriving by bus, it all started to go downhill. As the hours progressed the insults flowed, passive aggressive and in between conversation. I thought, well its going t get better. But that was wrong. More and more back and to dialogue between the other three. Insults, provocation. On and on for the entire time I was there. My brother and his gf came and went. It was only me and my Dad now. So that was about 24 hours. That was enough time for my Dad to make me distressed and desperate to leave. So I leave, get home, get really drunk and then a self damaging behaviour happened. The aftermath left me suicidal and planning this out. I realise how emotionally invested in this holiday I was and the rejection and bullying were the catalyst for this behaviour and subsequently a circumstantial depression. I thought that I would have learned by now. Oh well. I see my shrink in a week. So I am trying to figure out what I need to tell him :?:

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