Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
whitefluffyclouds
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:36 pm

Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby whitefluffyclouds » Mon Dec 16, 2019 3:51 pm

So, I don't mean to be really depressing, but I'm actually feeling very worried about my 35th birthday which is tomorrow and how I'm going to cope. I've already started feeling a little panicky just thinking about it :shock:

I'm trying to be positive and think of nice activities I can do (to get myself out my flat) and try to gently enjoy the day with minimal expectations, however my brain keeps switching to the negative and all these horrible feelings of abandonment keep bubbling up to the surface. I've been estranged from my mother and whole family for exactly 5 years tomorrow, since a really difficult 30th birthday and breakdown and feel incredibly lonely. Not only that but due to depression and other reasons I haven't achieved anything worthwhile in my life and I had such amazing potential when I was younger. All those things society deems as successful - a marriage, kids, accomplishments, degree, friends all have been beyond my grasp and instead heartache has been prominent in my life, probably caused by myself. Honestly, I just feel like a complete waste of space.

I would really appreciate some suggestions for coping or just some words of encouragement xxx

betterinrecovery
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby betterinrecovery » Mon Dec 16, 2019 4:24 pm

Dear Whitefluffyclouds,
just reading your pen name makes me smile.
I have to think for a bit, but I think that you are doing the right thing by thinking how you will manage your day tomorrow.
That's something I might not have thought of,
will just have a think,
B

betterinrecovery
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby betterinrecovery » Mon Dec 16, 2019 4:49 pm

Dear Whitefluffyclouds,
Here are a few ideas - things that I will probably try myself.
1) Wear something nice and bright tomorrow, put on your 'feel good' clothes. Treat yourself to a new lipstick if you can afford it.
2) Buy yourself some flowers at the shop and carry them home proudly, the bigger the bunch the better.
3) on your way home stop and buy yourself a coffee, but if you have a little extra pay for the coffee of someone in the queue - or give the barista a nice tip all well and good.

4) pick up a prospectus for the local college or look on line - maybe check out the Open University - have a look and see if anything takes your fancy.
5) *****Wishing you a day of being kind to yourself******
6) Wishing you hope for the future.

whitefluffyclouds
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:36 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby whitefluffyclouds » Mon Dec 16, 2019 9:25 pm

Betterinrecovery, that is such a wonderful list. Thank you for being so thoughtful and composing it x

I will definitely try out some of your suggestions. The one about bright coloured clothing in particular is a great idea for the winter months. I have some sparkly red heels (but don't think I can walk in them) and I'm sure there must be something wearable in my wardrobe. Hopefully tomorrow won't be another duvet day, but if it is I'm just going to accept it and not push myself too hard to try and feel wonderful if its not a genuine emotion.

betterinrecovery
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby betterinrecovery » Tue Dec 17, 2019 5:21 pm

Dear WhiteFluffyClouds,
I hope you are having a comfortable day and that you are being kind to you.
Red sparkly shoes!
Everyone should have a pair of red sparkly heels! Thinking about that makes me smile.
I have a pair of platform sandals - too young a style for me really, but I love them and can't part with them.

I do sometimes use CBT skills to help me in the rough times.
Sometimes this works.
There is a series of books by Dr Chris Williams called the 'Little book Series'. They are on Amazon to buy at £2 each and there are Kindle editions of the books too.
The explain simple ideas - they don't work miracles but they, if used on a regular basis can help if you really need to make a few useful changes in life.
E.g.
the book '10 things to help your feel better straight away', the ideas can just help raise the mood and give hope, then we have more energy to do other positive things .....little by little.

so from memory ...
going for a walk... while playing your favourite music.
Eating breakfast …including a banana for the production of the feel good chemical serotonin.

Can I add wrapping up warm, with a cup of tea and watching a feel good film ...
Or an inspiring film...
with some very good quality dark chocolate...if you like that sort of a thing.....just a square is all that is needed.

Avoiding the news..just for one day...
though you might need the weather...if you are going for a walk...

Going out to look at the Christmas lights on people's houses ---a night walk.


With Very Best Wishes and Many Happy Returns
B

whitefluffyclouds
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:36 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby whitefluffyclouds » Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:10 am

Thank you, you helped make my day bearable. I managed to get dressed in vibrant red (including the sparkly heels) and took myself to my local independent cinema to watch A Muppet Christmas Carol, with a glass of mulled wine and popcorn. The guy selling me a ticket even flirted with me a little :lol: At times I felt just awful, but I persevered. Then I tried window shopping and found a book on positive self-talk and following your aspirations, so that was my present to myself. Then I found an old Happy Birthday banner from last year which I hung up in my flat and treated myself to a Tiramasu dessert from Waitrose as my birthday "cake".

Even doing these small things would have been unthinkable a week ago things looked so bleak and black.

An old friend also texted me Happy Birthday and I looked at a list of famous people who were born on the same day on the internet and felt less "alone" but in good company. At times it was painful, but at times it was actually reasonably enjoyable. I feel good that I actually made an effort and tried rather than totally giving up.

Thanks for your wisdom, it was so very appreciated x

betterinrecovery
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby betterinrecovery » Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:27 pm

Well-done Whitefluffyclouds!
I am really happy for you.
Red sparkly heels should be on prescription! So should flirting and going to the cinema on your birthday.
Really happy for you - I know about dark days - but we can survive them.
I am a December baby too, as is Dame Judy Dench.
I now have to follow your idea and look up celebrities born on my birthday.... Big Smiles,
B

rsxo
Posts: 1246
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby rsxo » Fri Dec 20, 2019 6:29 pm

Happy belated birthday!x
RSxo <3

whitefluffyclouds
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:36 pm

Re: Birthday tomorrow - feeling a little down

Postby whitefluffyclouds » Wed Dec 25, 2019 12:26 am

Thank you and Happy Birthday also to you BetterinRecovery x


Return to “Safe Room”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 15 guests