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Nothing, I'm fine.

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2019 9:38 pm
by trying101
I would love to pick up the phone and call Sane Crisis line. I would love to know there was this resource out there that I could grab on to whilst I work hard at keeping my head above the water. I am not that way, that's not me. I can't help but feel the person on the other end is a person who is obviously doing better than I am with their mental health because they're volunteering to help others; whilst I can't even help myself. What would this person honestly say on the other side? I feel embarrassed about sharing my crisis with a complete stranger. I would rather lie down and have a smear because at least there would be no talking or awkward conversation or pretence.

I am so tired from trying to understand why I am like this and is it mental health or is it a bad situation or maybe both. So tired that I don't have the energy to try and explain to someone why I am tried. How can I tell this person on the line what's wrong when the reason I am calling is because I don't know what's wrong but something is. Something is so wrong it's whispering such horrible things. Things that when I go to write down what my thoughts are saying, what my emotions are making me feel, I cannot hear them or feel them. Where have they gone?When I stop to listen the dog goes quiet so I go to carry on with life but the noise, oh the noise. I'm fighting in my head. So I stop to rationalise the thoughts the feelings they go quiet. So, when that person on the phone asks "what is the problem?" "what thoughts are troubling you?" "whats made you call?"

SILENCE....NOTHING...was there anything there? So I answer with all honesty "nothing, I'm fine. Sorry". I hang up and google "hearing voices but not" and "attention-seeking behaviour".

Re: Nothing, I'm fine.

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2019 8:57 pm
by rsxo
Hey there!x

That's okay! Some people find that talking isn't as comfortable, so other methods are more useful. I knew someone in this position, and what they ended up doing was writing everything down, like a diary. Rather than having to repeat themselves again, or having to talk through their issues, they found it much more helpful to note things down, and read back through it. The first step is getting it out! It's better to have things written down, than racing around your head. :)

Much love <3