My friend lashed out at me last night, using the issues I'm having trauma therapy about to undermine my calmly expressed, honestly caring point that she's exposing herself and her child to unwise levels of risk. She's defensively said something hurtful to me before, when she was just digging herself into a deeper hole with justifications that don't work, but to use my really serious trauma background, that I am working through now after 20 years of keeping it hidden, has hurt me a lot. I don't have a social circle, can't afford to lose friends, but it will take a lot of sorting out, and I'm still upset today. And have other big priorities today, and in general.
She phoned me for support because another friend has raised concerns to the point she's going to report them if things go much further. She needed to phone me fairly late, so I kept my evening free for that, and I offered support, but just couldn't agree that it's fine to let this guy use her home. So she said something really cold about my inability to defend myself from harm in the past, to say I'm being hypocritical to feel she should consider safety issues. She lies- has told me different versions of fairly key info, and not told me about things I'd need to know to judge whether I am safe round there myself. To be clear, she's not in a relationship with him, and isn't being abused, but is inviting significant risks, and at best a situation her child doesn't need to be around.
To use the issues I'm having therapy for, that are raw now, that I feel lucky to have survived, and that have lifelong, profound impacts- what sort of friend is that? I honestly don't think my reaction is because of my current state, I just think she had no restraint in that moment. Not sure what to say to her. She apologised when I said it wasn't right to do that, but the apology hasn't really helped.