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Re: The black cloud

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 5:06 pm
by teamn
:)

Re: The black cloud

Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 11:20 am
by cookiemonster
I’m struggling at mo as my flat sale / purchase has been going on for 6 months. The plan for ending my life was originally for the new flat for various reasons. When the move didn’t go asquickly as expected the attempt was made in my current flat. I know if I had been in my new flat then I would have been more likely to be successful. I’m scared as I don’t trust myself in the new flat and the move is due soon.

Re: The black cloud

Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:10 am
by tofler
Hi cookiemonster, I'm really sorry to hear that you made an attempt to take your own life. It sounds like you've been struggling a lot more than I previously realised. From what you've said on here it sounds like you're making some progress via therapy though? Do you get any support from family or friends? I appreciate that this can be a difficult area for many people though, as it is for me.

Re: The black cloud

Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:14 pm
by cookiemonster
My parents and brother do not know that I tried to take my own life. I had a discussion with my mum again last night about how I don’t show my true feelings and just get on with things. This has led me to have a front for everyone so I can cope. The problem is I’m a stranger to myself now.

Re: The black cloud

Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 2:55 am
by tofler
Are you a stranger to yourself because you've spent a long time putting a front on for other people? When you get your own flat maybe this will give you an opportunity to start discovering who you really are again e.g. what sort of things do I like doing, what am I interested in, what places do I like going to, what sort of people do I like spending time with?

Will you be living alone in your new flat and will you have any support nearby?

Re: The black cloud

Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:28 am
by teamn
Yes what made you put up the front so that you can cope, if you share your problems or reveal your true feelings, will your family not be supportive,or is it another reason

Sorry to hear how your feeling and also that you attempted to take your own life

Re: The black cloud

Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 12:35 pm
by cookiemonster
The front I think is why I am a stranger to myself. Not sure of the cause of the front but it maybe partly due to a lot of bullying during all of my school years and also due to a relationship when I was 12 with a guy who was 17. I am exploring these areas with my therapist. There are some issues surrounding my parents as I’ve always been treated differently to my brother. He suffers from ocd as well although they see him as requiring extra support and me as being the independent one that just gets on with it. Also he’s very academic so I’ve always been compared to him by everyone including my secondary school teachers and deputy head.