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The black cloud

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby cookiemonster » Sun Aug 26, 2018 8:23 pm

The black cloud has descended again. Heads foggy. Feel like world is happening and I’m on outside looking in.

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: The black cloud

Postby tofler » Sun Aug 26, 2018 10:43 pm

Hi cookiemonster, sorry to hear that things have got worse for you again at the moment. What sort of things usually help you to get through the really bad days? Do you have any coping strategies that you can fall back on during dark times?

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby cookiemonster » Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:35 am

The black cloud has descended again. Mind is foggy and i feel like world is happening and I’m looking in from outside.

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby teamn » Mon Aug 27, 2018 2:10 pm

Keep posting, even if you feel you can’t express all of what you want to say.these is the time to post and engage .

I totally get where your at right now the weakness fatigue and fog will lift, just like before remember that

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby cookiemonster » Mon Aug 27, 2018 7:36 pm

No strategies. I have had this black cloud stay in the past for many months at a time

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: The black cloud

Postby tofler » Mon Aug 27, 2018 8:21 pm

So how do you get through each day cookiemonster when the black cloud has descended and completely submerged you like this? Do you lie on the sofa and watch tv, do you stay in bed all day or do you do something else? Keep talking to us when you can, but I know it's difficult to communicate with the outside world when things are as bad as they sound for you right now. Try to drink enough water to stay hydrated and please try to eat a little and often, even if it's just toast or cereal.

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby cookiemonster » Tue Aug 28, 2018 6:45 pm

I put a front up which makes me appear fine and go to work which is where I feel most at home. The front has been developed and used for so long even those closest to me aren’t sure how I’m feeling from one day to the next. It means I have also lost touch of myself to.

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby teamn » Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:06 am

Putting up the front is draining and exhausting trust me I know all too well. The other bad effect of this, the flip side, is also that when you crash you crash hard. As so much has been ignored and dismissed so it all built up.

It’s really great that your hear sharing, keep posting and sharing, and try talking therapy, if you tried it before do it again, you need to find an outlet and someone to support you, you seem really strong willed and courageous dealing with all this alone, but no mans an island, find someone that will listen as a first second step, first step is coming here and posting., learn to let the mask drop.

emloja
Posts: 194
Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2017 4:34 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby emloja » Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:37 am

Hi Nat and cookie,
I just want to join in with the talk about the mask- I also want to support what Natalie said about when you fall falling hard. I was in complete denial for over a year- i kept telling myself this was me yet looking back now i cannot believe what i was coping with. I felt the mask even though it wasn't helpful in the long run- in the short term it kept me going- as i had to get up and go to work and i had to do certain things- in the mean time i completely lost sight of myself as in my own home i was falling apart and the gap between what everyone else saw and what i actually was widened. Because i was 'functioning' even though i wouldn't really call it that- i thought that i couldn't be too ill. It was only when the depression and anxiety started to impact on my sleep and eating that i was forced to take note. Apologies for writing so much about me- but i still can feel in shock about the experience i went through.
It is tough but it can get better! For me it was about getting the right meds so all the therapy stuff (from a counsellor and self help books) could have time to be accessed and processed. A pet helped and regular walks- despite what was going on i forced myself to walk. When i was at my darkest i started to try and change the voice in my head to be kinder to myself, tolerant and reassuring. I do believe this change in talk to myself really helped- but it took time. I guess it is a journey. I hope some of that helped you! apologies if not. Take care x

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: The black cloud

Postby cookiemonster » Fri Aug 31, 2018 11:37 am

Thanks for your support. I am feeling a little better over the last couple of days. I hope I learn to lower the mask. I receiving therapy which is helping uncover the causes. That has been revealing.


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