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Don't know what to do

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Joined: Sun Aug 24, 2014 12:57 pm

Don't know what to do

Postby Confused12 » Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:14 pm

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my life is out of control, no, it's out of my control. I can't stop myself from descending into the big black hole that follows me about. I haven't felt this bad in years. I thought I had actually gotten over it. As I've never had a real diagnosis, I thought maybe I was just a bit blue and a moody teenager ( I've been feeling like this since I was 13, 25 now) but this last year, all the suicidal thoughts have come back. Beginning to think this isn't a phase now. I have a decent life so why do I feel like I'm useless and people would be better off without me? I know you can't answer that but neither can I. I don't want to go back to the doctors, last time they told me I was just a bit stressed and I should come back in 3 days if I still felt the same! Even after I had told them about wanting to jump under a train! All I want to do is curl up in a ball and stay there. No contact with the outside world. Am I just a bit stressed? Maybe I'm being overly dramatic? Maybe I should heed peoples (father, grandparents) and just 'get over it'?

I'm sorry for taking up your time with my rambles

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Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:32 pm

Re: Don't know what to do

Postby Avalon » Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:20 pm

Just get over it?? That's helpful! Is there anyone who can support you? Anyone you can be totally honest with?
Maybe try a different GP and have another go at telling them. An anti depressant may be all you need to help you back up again.

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Joined: Thu Nov 21, 2013 4:03 pm

Re: Don't know what to do

Postby Lifeless » Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:19 pm

I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings since I was a kid. You're not being overly dramatic. This is a serious matter that needs to be resolved. I understand that you don't want to see any doctors due to your past experiences with them. Unfortunately, only doctors can solve these problems :(

I can only suggest that you see a different doctor this time. If this doctor doesn't help, keep searching until you find the right doctor. I had to keep looking for the right doctor myself.

Wishing you all the best. Hope you feel better soon xxx

Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Aug 24, 2014 12:57 pm

Re: Don't know what to do

Postby Confused12 » Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:52 pm

Thank you guys, I'm going to try and book myself in with a doc this week. The difficult thing with my surgery is actually getting to see a doc, they don't like to give out appointments with them, only nurses. All the old grannies take up the docs time!

Hopefully, they won't just give me a leaflet and a metaphorical pat on the head, 'there, there you silly little girl' lol feeling slightly more upbeat today (probably because I've been working non stop all day and not had a chance to think about anything) so now is probably a good time to do it.

I'll update you if/when I go through with it

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