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It's getting to me!!

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
whisper
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:05 pm
Location: ????

It's getting to me!!

Postby whisper » Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:08 pm

Normally I can dismiss the feelings I get towards other people, the thoughts of wanting to severely hurt someone other than myself!! I can usually rationalise those, I know that I could get into a lot of trouble if I actually carried out what is in those thoughts!! Saying that, the thoughts don't go away!! Instead I hurt myself, no one really cares then!!

Tonight I am very wound up and I feel as if I could do someone some real serious damage! No one specifically in mind!! I have to stay away from everybody because I don't know that I can restrain myself appropriately! !

This is not a threat, I promise!! I just wanted to maybe talk myself down cos im really screwed up tightly and am frightened of what I might be capable of!!

Again I want to stress that this is NOT a threat!!
life is a lemon....and i want my money back..!!!

MythEagle
Posts: 1083
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:26 pm

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby MythEagle » Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:15 pm

Hi whisper
I don't really know what to say in response but I do hang want you to think you'd gone unheard again.

Can you do anything to distract yourself at all? Or do you have any meds that you can take in a crisis or call a crisis team?

ME
You are braver than you think, and stronger than you know.

whisper
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:05 pm
Location: ????

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby whisper » Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:21 pm

I have taken some meds to dampen things down a bit, but I don't have access to a 'crisis line' because im not being supported by the 'mental health services' so I can't use it! I can try the 'Sam's' but I am scared of what they would do if I told them what I have said on here!!!!
life is a lemon....and i want my money back..!!!

whisper
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:05 pm
Location: ????

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby whisper » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:24 pm

I'm still struggling with these very strong feelings of wanting to strike out!! Although the meds have slowed it down a little, it's still an internal battle! If I could turn it back onto myself maybe it would be safer for me in a deranged sort of way!! One more wound wouldn't really make a difference, would it?? I just hope that by s/h, the other feelings will fade!! I'm frightened by these as I know there are always consequences to those thoughts turning into actions!!!
life is a lemon....and i want my money back..!!!

GrannyV
Posts: 661
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:57 am

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby GrannyV » Sat Jan 18, 2014 8:43 am

Oh Whisper

What can I say. Yes I feel anger at times but not to the point you are at. Have you got something equivalent to a punch bag that you could use to get some of the anger out of you. By that I don't mean another person but something hard enough to feel satisfaction but soft enough to not do yourself any damage.

You could try MIND to ask for advice. If writing down your feeling help then by all means write for England rather than focusing your rage on another person.

Its probably no good mentioning calming techniques as you are probably well past that point.

Hope you are ok

Granny V x x x x

MythEagle
Posts: 1083
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:26 pm

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby MythEagle » Sat Jan 18, 2014 2:08 pm

Hi Whisper
How are you doing today? Have the thoughts subsided at all?
ME
You are braver than you think, and stronger than you know.

whisper
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:05 pm
Location: ????

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby whisper » Sat Jan 18, 2014 9:35 pm

Hi! Thanks for hearing me!! I have had to lock myself away today, well ive actually stayed in my bed most of the time cos I OD last night and I'm just really tired now!!! I didn't know how else to keep everybody else and myself safe from those nasty thoughts and feelings that seem to be constantly on my mind!! It helped!! :cry:
life is a lemon....and i want my money back..!!!

GrannyV
Posts: 661
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:57 am

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby GrannyV » Sun Jan 19, 2014 9:42 am

Hello Whisper

If staying in bed keeps you safe then it is a good idea to be there. I hope it helps you wind down and relax a little. Perhaps if you can write your thoughts and feelings down it may help to alleviate some of the pent up aggression you are experiencing. I don't know it will but its just a suggestion.

I hope you are feeling more balanced and calmer today/

Luv
Granny V x x x

whisper
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:05 pm
Location: ????

Re: It's getting to me!!

Postby whisper » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:40 pm

Thanks lol!!
life is a lemon....and i want my money back..!!!


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