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For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
wishbone
Posts: 1131
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Re BYE - DON'T GIVE UP

Postby wishbone » Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:06 am

Don't Give up. Peter Grabriel - You have friends (here)

In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose

Don't give up
'cos you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good


Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that we'd be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up
We don't need much of anything
Don't give up
'cause somewhere there's a place
Where we belong


Rest your head
You worry too much
It's going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don't give up
Please don't give up


'got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river's flowing
That river's flowing

Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs

Don't give up
'cause you have friends

Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed

Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are

Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'cause I believe there's a place
There's a place where we belong
(Stay with us here)

wishbone
Posts: 1131
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Re: Bye

Postby wishbone » Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:37 am

I hope you are ok. express as much as you need to. Your poems have very heart felt meanings. I hope mine also shows you how much we do care here (my attempt). Sending hugs

XXXXXXXXX\(^.^)/XXXXXXXX

Aleshadxcherylc
Posts: 1202
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:28 pm

Re: Bye

Postby Aleshadxcherylc » Mon Jul 16, 2012 12:41 pm

Thank you wishbone you are so sweet that means an awful lot they are songs that remind me of Laura and some of how I feel everyday about my life so I didn't write them I copied the lyrics off the Internet from the songs that remind me of how I feel and make me cry eveytime they come on the radio
Thank you for your poem thats so lovely
I'm not doing well at the moment as you can probably tell I hurt so much I just want it to end :cry: :? :( :!: hope your ok
X x
And the tears come streaming down your face,when you lose something you cant replace
Till now, I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you
No-one ever comes close to you

wishbone
Posts: 1131
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Re: Bye - Don't give up

Postby wishbone » Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:38 pm

Mine is a song too, I wish I was that talented. If you don't know it here it is http://youtu.be/KVaK24LIDko (only focus on Kate Bush's words if you watch it)

I thought the choice was appropriate how you were showing you felt in your choice. I am sorry you are hurting so much. It will take time, but it does get easier, it kind of changes. You do not have to forget her, it is just trying to find a way that you can function and live in a different dimention to her.

Hope you stay around. xxxx

Don't give up, don't give up, don't give up
(the last part of the song)

wishbone
Posts: 1131
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Re: Bye - Don't Give up

Postby wishbone » Sun Jul 22, 2012 1:14 pm

hiya,

Haven't heard from you for a while I hope you are ok. I'm here if you need me. I can't be on here though as much as I'd like, but will be here if you wish us to be. Love always xxxx

I'll Stand by You - Pretenders (another song)
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, gets mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Aleshadxcherylc
Posts: 1202
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:28 pm

Re: Bye

Postby Aleshadxcherylc » Sun Jul 22, 2012 5:00 pm

Hi hun
Thanks for caring that song makes me cry it used to play in the surgery whilst I was waiting for Laura
I'm not doing well at the moment but when am
I ever!
thanks for dropping by hope your ok I still wish to die I have constant headaches don't want to see anyone don't feel motivated feel low and anxious and emotional And alone
X
And the tears come streaming down your face,when you lose something you cant replace
Till now, I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you
No-one ever comes close to you

wishbone
Posts: 1131
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Re: Bye - DON'T GIVE UP

Postby wishbone » Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:29 am

bereavement is quite torcherous. At the moment everything will feel negative when you remember her, due to focusing on the loss, but, you will be able focus on the memories in a way to be kind of thankful to of ever known her at all. This comes in differing forms, depending on the person, but, some start to do things in memory and live life in memory of their loved ones.

Unfortunately, you need to go through this aweful stage. Stages can't be missed in bereavement. It is a natural feeling to feel like dying, but, hang on in there. Don't carry it out practically.

Many songs and other things will help you to go through the process of grief. If things make you cry this is helping to release your grief. It is important you do this. It is so important. But there is a cut off point. It is important, once you are ready, to let go a bit. You will know when the time is right. You might need to tease yourself away from grief, by forcing yourself to try things, but do it slowly and within your needs and coping abilities. But you must look after yourself and keep going with things.

Wishing you well, wishing you peace of mind xxxxxx

Aleshadxcherylc
Posts: 1202
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:28 pm

Re: Bye

Postby Aleshadxcherylc » Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:47 pm

Thank you hun ! That's so sweet but the silly thing is she's not dead she's still alive so I don't have a right to grieve.
Probably doesn't help that my grandad died 8 months ago whilst i was in therapy with her and my dad is battling stage 1 lymphoma cancer even though its stage 1 and 95% chance of clearing I still panic we will be the 5% we always are ! ,And im ugly fat stupid and have lots of other issues !
Your advice is so helpful and good so thank you !
About crying if I mention her in therapy even just to mention her name I start to cry I try to hold it back and think no but it always takes over I feel awful as I cry over her but not my grandad who is actually dead and yet and I knew him 21 years and Laura 11 weeks I feel guilty and awful ! Dont know why I am like this ?! I wish I wasn't me !

Talking about songs I have a playlist of songs which remind me of her and songs that use to play when I was in the car or waiting It's all such a big mess ! Still 5 months on I should be over by now why do I get so upset over a therapist !
Anyway enough about me how are you today ??
Hope your ok
Thanks for caring !
X xxxx
And the tears come streaming down your face,when you lose something you cant replace
Till now, I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you
No-one ever comes close to you

Aleshadxcherylc
Posts: 1202
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:28 pm

Re: Bye

Postby Aleshadxcherylc » Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:27 pm

Iphone note reading everyday

Get  this in your thick head i am fat dont be a fat cow skip lunch don't eat anything get tea upstairs and don't think about food I need to lose weight I am fat I am fat you've had your treats and your fails now its time to get serious your a fat cow lose weight lose weight lose weight lose weight I won't be happy if you don't fat cow sit ups too isolate yourself from people eating food ugly bitch I need to do this your fat you need to be thin yes I do I want to be thin eveything you eat your putting on stone and pounds stop being a greedy pig ready set go !!!!!!!!! Don't eat if you do low calories !
That's all read this everyday to get into your thick skull :)  
And the tears come streaming down your face,when you lose something you cant replace
Till now, I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you
No-one ever comes close to you

wishbone
Posts: 1131
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Re: Bye -Don't give up

Postby wishbone » Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:30 pm

Hiya,

Now, I am not someone that can read all posts, so I must have missed this along the way about Laura, being alive, and being your therapist, but, I think this was a good thing that I did miss it. I am not sure if it has enlightened you a bit. What I am talking about is, it might be that you 'are' grieving the loss of your grandad, but you could be directing it towards Laura.

I think it is something you may need to analyse a bit yourself. You are also worried about your dad.

You may have had a good relationship with Laura, and it is always difficult to finish therapy and this also depends on how it was finished too and would have been difficult at a time you have had loss, and also potential loss of close family members. So, this grief you are feeling could be an extension to the passing of your grandad. Have a look at this possibility.

The mind does try to protect itself and so might direct it towards a different way of grieving. Still releasing the emotions you need to, but kind of protecting itself a bit (just a thought).

Any loss is hard though. Grieving is also needed for other losses, such as a job, or health, or lifestyle. Losing a home may also trigger grief, so a process and the stages may still be needed in any sudden changes to what someone saw as normality and so would need to go through the grief stages.

Really have a look at this. What you need to be aware of though this is you going through the grief stages, so, whatever you feel about it and if you do feel it is solely about Laura, you still need to go through the stages.

I hope I have helped a bit. I really hope that things do settle for you. Don't carry out any plans to take your own life. You have a lot of discovering to do and I think, once you have gone through the grief process, you will see a way forward.

xxxxxx


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