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I feel so awful

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Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

I feel so awful

Postby Dovahkiin » Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:19 pm

Hey, this is my first time posting so I'm not quite sure what to say or that I'm even in the right room. I feel absolutely terrible, I was recently transferred to the adult mental health team and I had two social workers interrogating me about my illness and they want me to go back onto antipsychotics. Which I really don't want to do because last time the side affects were a lot worse than the positive affects, but I'm starting to wonder if I need to be on them. I can't tell my mum, although she's incredibly supportive even though she has had to put up with so much of my crap for a few years she thinks I'm doing really well now when I'm not. I've started seeing things again these past few weeks and started hearing things again. I have serious anxiety issues and I'm being expected to go out and socialise more. I've been admitted to a adolescent psych ward twice, the second time they did wonders for me and I really thought I was back on track then CAMHS and Social Services let me down big time, my social worker told me to "grow a backbone" and that he had anxiety problems but he got over them without a psychiatrist then started comparing me to a drug addict. I don't know whether I should ask for medication to help me with my anger. It's getting really hard to control and it isn't fair on my family, and people don't seem to understand that if my anger slowly builds then I can control it but most of the time it's just angry outbursts like it comes extremely quickly then leaves equally as fast. I haven't self harmed in a long time now though but I'm starting to feel so desperate that I need to start doing it again. I just don't know what to do. I haven't been diagnosed, my psychiatrist in hospital just kept saying I was 'complicated'.. I don't know if I even want a diagnosis. Is there any point? I just don't know. I would appreciate a reply, maybe some advice. Thanks. x

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caz
Posts: 3567
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:31 pm
Location: Northwest England

Re: I feel so awful

Postby caz » Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:29 pm

heya kat....sorry to hear you are going through a tough time...i totally understand what you are saying about your social worker comparing you to different people i had that with my keyworker and complained about it and she doesnt compare me with anyone these days... you dont want to be on antipsychotics because of the side effects being worse than your actual symptoms but have you asked for another anti psychotic? what ones have you been on? sorry for all the questions but just trying to get a clearer picture in order for us to help you ....have you got an understanding gp that you can go and see? as for your anger... would you be prepared to go to an anger management class...if you do you would need to speak with your social worker or gp xxxx
“The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us.
It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."


Where there's a way out.....I will find it!!!!

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: I feel so awful

Postby Dovahkiin » Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:39 pm

I've complained about my social worker but it still hasn't been dealt with. The antipsychotics I remember being on are Respiridone and Quetiapine (I think I might have been on others when I was really ill but I dont remember) and I've been on Lorazapam Tamazepam Diazapam and now I'm just on Melatonin to help me sleep. I've only met my GP once because I recently moved. I've tried all the DBT and CBT stuff and everyones determined that they will work but they just don't anymore. They did to start with. No one seems to take my anger seriously. I'm getting so sick of everyone now. x

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caz
Posts: 3567
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:31 pm
Location: Northwest England

Re: I feel so awful

Postby caz » Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:46 pm

when you complained....who did you complain to?...maybe contacting PALS and making a complaint this way as they are good in dealing with complaints hun....maybe asking for a different med that you have not had ...just a thought xxx
“The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us.
It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."


Where there's a way out.....I will find it!!!!

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: I feel so awful

Postby Dovahkiin » Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:31 pm

I've complained through my advocate. I keep getting letters off Social Services saying they're sorry its taking so long to get it sorted out :| No ones ever really explained what different meds are around, they've just given me some and expected me to take them. I'm meeting my new psychiatrist on the 16th and apparently he's the best one around here. I'm worried about getting a diagnosis though :| It might be useful but I dont know. xxx

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judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: I feel so awful

Postby judithj » Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:06 pm


Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: I feel so awful

Postby Dovahkiin » Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:32 pm

Thank you Judith that link was fantastic, you're a star xxx :)

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judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: I feel so awful

Postby judithj » Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:34 pm

hope it's useful, hugs, Judith xxx

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: I feel so awful

Postby Dovahkiin » Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:43 pm

It's brilliant thank you. xxx

Dovahkiin
Posts: 4216
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:01 pm

Re: I feel so awful

Postby Dovahkiin » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:20 pm

Oh I meant to say thank you to Caz aswell. Thought I already had, sorry xxx


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